Happening Now: Earthwise Summit 2024
The unexpected Nigerian connection that turned into a spiritual journey
A snail. I was hesitant about eating snails.
What you need to know:
- You know how some friendships just feel meant to be? That's how it was with Helen, my Nigerian pal who I finally met in person this past weekend.
- Even though we started as virtual strangers, there was an instant connection that blossomed into an extraordinary bond - one that opened my eyes to her courageous journey towards becoming a reverend sister.
Helen and I have been virtual friends for close to a year before we finally met this past Saturday. She is an avid reader of this column, and gets especially delighted when I mention her country – she is Nigerian. That was the genesis of our online mail exchanges.
The first time she wrote to me, expectedly, it was in response to a Daisy’s World column she had particularly liked. Her email was detailed, the feedback intentional and tone genial.
It was also a good thing that she is Nigerian – I feel like a part of me has always been Nigerian. I have been fascinated by that country since I was nine, but that is a story for another day.
As I always do with readers who share feedback on my column, I wrote back to Helen, appreciating the fact that she read the column and thanked her for sharing her feedback. With most of my readers, this is where things usually end.
But Helen wrote back and we chatted a bit more about the topic, and then moved to talk about other things. Even though we had not met in person or even heard each other’s voice, we both knew we had a connection.
We talked about our personal values and discovered so many similarities between us. Eventually, we connected on WhatsApp and moved our conversations from email.
In one of our chats, we agreed to meet in person, and she offered to treat me to some Nigerian cuisine. She also got me a gift from her country and that was a good excuse for a meeting between us.
Helen and I met at the postulancy where she stays in Kisumu. The postulancy I visited is a place that looks a lot like a school where Helen and 10 others currently stay as they go through discernment before committing to a religious life. In other words, Helen is working towards becoming a reverend sister.
“What was it that made you think you were born for a religious life?” I asked. Although I went to a Catholic high school, we did not have any nuns or reverend sisters teaching any of the classes.
“It is difficult to explain, Daisy. You just know it. It is like something deep in your heart. Think about it like this. That thing that gets you drawn to one man, flaws and all, while forsaking all others. People around you may not understand what you see in that particular man,” she said.
Her response made me think of something Condoleezza Rice said in her commencement speech at Southern Methodist University in 2012, “…it [is] like finding love. You can’t explain it but you just know it is right.”
One of her formators (a mentor who is already a Reverend Sister. The role of the formator is to walk Helen and her colleagues through their journey of discernment) joined Helen and I as she walked me through the top view of what they do on a daily basis.
They spend time reading the Word of God, studying the history of the Catholic Church and the congregation they aspire to join, learning each other’s cultures, spending lots of time in prayer and, of course, serving the community around them.
Helen, for example, is a school teacher who is drawn, especially to ensuring that children from economically under-resourced families get access to quality education, which is also a big part of what the congregation she aspires to join does.
“I already had a career before I started this journey. I came to the postulancy at the age of 28. I come from a liberal family so I had no problem with my decision on the family front. But some people in my circles wondered if I was probably not okay, because why would I abandon the life I had always known to pursue a religious life?” she posed, almost rhetorically.
As she led me to the dining to sample the lunch she had prepped for me, one thing was clear. There are things in life that will only make sense to us personally. There are decisions, whether about careers, education or a life partner, that need to make sense to us in a deep way. If you are a Christian, of course, you know I mean prayer and good counsel are always essential in the process of discernment.
Postscript
For lunch, I was served egusi soup, eba and a combination of snails, kpomo (cow skin) and pork. As you can imagine, I was hesitant about eating snails because… what if they get to my stomach and resurrect. But Helen assured me that they were a special meal. In fact, she said, being served snails is a sign that your host holds you in high esteem! I will not bore you with descriptions of the disgusted looks my family gave me when I told them I ate snails.
The writer is the Research & Impact Editor, NMG ([email protected]).
