The love that kills: When changing him destroys you both
A couple. Women who value themselves deserve respect, think independently, and act advantageously.
What you need to know:
- A woman who truly respects a man accepts him completely for who he is, even when his natural way of being clashes with what she desires.
- A woman who genuinely respects herself understands her elevated worth and will not permit others to treat her as less than she deserves.
Do not alter who you are to gain a man's respect. Every individual deserves to be treated with respect by virtue of their humanity. Value what you lose, rather than what you gain.
Indeed, respect for a man is shown through appreciation. Appreciation reflects a deep sense of respect. Both women and men require respect and appreciation, yet the expression of respect towards a man differs from that towards a woman.
When a woman respects a man, she accepts him and loves him for who he is, flaws and all – even when it conflicts with what she wants. Embracing a man for his true self strengthens his identity as a man. It also gives her strength. When a woman is emotionally healthy, embracing a man can be seamless, as love and nurturing flow naturally from her. Her actions, grounded in love rather than control, inspire him to be the best version of himself as a man.
It is believed that when a man's natural way of being often clashes with a woman's desires, the solution is not for her to criticise or pressure him to change into someone he is not. The next step is to ascertain if the couple qualifies as a “match”. It’s quite common for women to concentrate on their own wants, fears, worries, and desires, often overlooking how he feels and experiences life, particularly since men tend to express their deep emotions in a more stoic manner.
Men generally do not convey negative emotions. Women may perceive their silence, stemming from a lack of expression regarding the negative, as either an agreement with their desires or a sign of indifference. They ought to see their silence as a form of restraint and strength, recognising and valuing that he also experiences deep feelings, has emotional needs, and possesses his own viewpoint. But on a deeper level, accepting and appreciating a man means you are accepting and appreciating who he is at his core.
A woman who genuinely respects herself understands her worth. She is aware that it is elevated. She will not permit others to treat her in ways that undermine her worth. If her partner shows her less care and concern than she offers in return, she will end the relationship and seek someone more deserving. A woman who genuinely values herself will set goals. The specifics will differ from one woman to another, yet they will focus on their individual experiences. These will be accomplishments that the woman can take pride in, earned solely through her perseverance, dedication, and/or skill.
A woman who genuinely values herself will also make decisions that prioritise her own well-being. The manifestation of this varies for each woman based on her individual goals; for a college student, it might take the shape of consistent studying and daily exercise. For a businesswoman, it may be submitting impressive work and engaging with superiors. For an expectant mother, it may involve exploring neonatal care and maintaining a nutritious diet.
Women who value themselves deserve respect, think independently, and act advantageously.
Surjit Singh Flora is a veteran journalist and freelance writer based in Brampton, Canada.