The exciting things you learn when you move out of your parent's house
Moving out is a big deal. One learns many exciting things.
What you need to know:
- I remember crying the first night after I moved out, in my bedsitter apartment.
- I had never really lived away from my family; that first night, I realised I was all alone.
Marion asked me to recommend an affordable neighbourhood where she could get a house, and move out of the nest. We became friends six or so years ago… we met through her mom.
After a few months of strict vetting, Marion realised I had no plans of stealing or hoarding her mother, and we became friends. Now, six years later, Marion and I are both solid adults.
She said, quite confidently, that she is ready to move out of her parent’s house, and “be my own person”. I was excited for her, as this was yet another beginning in her adult life. She is two years younger than me, you see, and it gave me so much pleasure to be at the centre of this ‘grand initiation’ of hers.
“First of all, we are not going for anything ridiculously expensive. Let us focus on an area that is safe, has a regular water supply, and has enough space for you,” I said, in a matter-of-fact tone.
Moving out is a big deal! It is thrilling and chilling at the same time. I remember crying the first night after I moved out, in my bedsitter apartment. I had never really lived away from my family (having failed to survive university hostels – story for another day, and opting to travel to school daily). That first night, I realised I was all alone.
When Marion called again to ask “Daisy, do you really think I should move out?”, it was easy for me to empathise.
“Having second thoughts?” I asked, to which she replied, “Yes, I will be all alone! I have always relied on my bro and sis to help with stuff. But if I am alone in the middle of nowhere… what if I get stuck?” she asked, almost in a forlorn tone.
“Think about your moving out as a change, not as a transformation. Change means you can always go back. It does not have to be permanent. Give it three months, and if it is unsustainable, head back home.”
This seemed to calm her nerves. I spent most of the weekend answering her questions. Like if she will ever eat her favourite kienyeji veges and chicken she is used to at home.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank the person who came up with the idea of slaughtering and slicing chicken before selling it. Because otherwise, for some of us, moving out would have meant forsaking a proper meal of chicken. I am not big on broiler chicken. I find them to be rather tasteless (which is better than bad-tasting).
Shortly after I moved out, I went to a butchery and specifically asked for kienyeji chicken. They sold me something that did not smell like chicken and did not taste like chicken. I am still convinced they sold me a hawk because, in this Nairobi, I have heard worse things. I gave up on the idea of chicken in my house.
Until one day… I was wandering far into my hood when I came across a ‘chicken kiosk’. Live chicken, reared and sold. The price depends on the size of the chicken; they slaughter and slice for you.
All I have to do is pay and go home to cook and enjoy my chicken. This comes with a level of comfort because, even if the chicken is not exactly the free-range kienyeji (you know the one that runs around, sourcing for its own food), I go to bed sure that what I ate was chicken.
Finally, Marion and I talked about how she will need to up her financial management skills once she moves out. “Nothing teaches you personal financial management better than moving out,” I told her.
“Looks like it will soon be time to put my MSc in Finance to actual use,” she said, and I was glad we did not have to start the conversation about financial management from scratch.
Before moving out, the only thing I needed to be sure of was that I had enough bus fare and lunch money for the entire month. In those days, being independent had such a low threshold. When you move out, however, you have to begin using stuff like the 50-30-20 budget principle.
Fifty per cent of your salary will go into your must-dos or must-haves, such as rent and your utility bills, including electricity and water. You have to save 20 per cent of your salary; and 30 per cent goes to your wants. In short, moving out will mature you financially.
What was the biggest challenge for you when you moved out? If you have yet to move out, please, take your time.
The writer is the research & impact editor, NMG ([email protected]).
