Of sexual harassment and the trouble with office romance
Sexual harassment is prevalent in workplaces.
What you need to know:
- A recent ruling by a Kenyan judge on office romance sparked a lively debate, with some men joking that they had been given a free hand to date whoever they wanted in the office.
- The judge ruled in favour of romantic relationships at work, warning employers not to interfere at the workplace.
At 19, while employed as a casual worker in Industrial Area, Nairobi, I was often the target of lewd, unwelcome remarks from male colleagues and supervisors. I had never worked for pay before, so I thought it came with the territory of being employed and suffered through it.
I didn’t have the language to express the discomfort I felt from sexually suggestive comments directed my way, or the supervisor who insisted on taking me out despite my refusals. I later realised I wasn’t unique; I was just "fresh blood," a soft target in a cycle that would continue with others after me. This became my new normal.
It wasn't until my 30s, during a media fellowship for women in journalism, that I came across the phrase ‘sexual harassment’, which refers to unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favours, and any other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature. The key term here is ‘unwelcome,’ which brings us to consent.
Even then, I recognised how blurred the line can be between office romance and sexual harassment, especially for those in the thick of it.
A recent ruling by a Kenyan judge on office romance sparked a lively debate on the same, with some men in my circle joking that they had been given a free hand to date whomever they wanted in the office.
The judge ruled in favour of romantic relationships at work, warning employers not to interfere at the workplace, as the relationships “must be left to run their own natural course, as the purpose of sexual harassment policies is not to police romantic relationships, or prohibit marriage and families, that may be built, between consenting employees”.
‘Consenting employees’is a phrase that should have been written in bold, with screaming capital letters. But when there’s a power dynamic involved, like when it’s a relationship between a senior and junior employee, is consent really black and white?
I'm not opposed to office romance per se. But things always start to fall apart when there's a power dynamic at play. What happens when the junior rejects the boss's advances? And what if that boss doesn't take no for an answer and retaliates with a poor performance review?
The line between an office romance and sexual harassment can sometimes be so blurry that I see no point in attempting to draw it. Even the mere mental and physical discomfort of seeing your current or ex-lover flirting with a colleague should be reason enough to keep off office romance.
The senior colleagues in the workplace owe it to those in their early careers to nip such budding romances in the bud, especially when there’s a power dynamic to consider. Office romance is just not worth stirring up a hornet’s nest for.
The writer comments on social and gender topics (@MissOneya; [email protected]).
