Men, speak up! Silence spurs sexual violence
What you need to know:
- While research has shown that women are disproportionately affected by sexual harassment in various sectors, evidence also shows that men too, are victims.
- The only difference is that they hardly ever speak up.
“What about us?” A male colleague asked me once when I stood up to speak against sexual harassment in newsrooms during a staff meeting a few years ago.
In my speech, I had pointed out how young women in newsrooms suffer at the hands of their older male supervisors, adding that sexual harassment was about power.
I also pointed out how, as an experienced journalist, I felt that it was my duty to protect young women from sex pests, but that it should be a human resource department function.
Satisfied that I had driven my point home, I sat down only to be confronted by my own biases after the poignant question by my male colleague.
“Speak for us next time, too. We suffer in silence. The stories I could tell you…” he continued before trailing off, perhaps aware that sexual harassment was an uncomfortable topic that he would not wish to be publicly quoted on.
Later, a few men reached out to me in my inbox with their own experiences and a strict warning not to be quoted anywhere. While I abided by their wishes, I could not help but think about how silence hurts the fight against sexual harassment.
While research has shown that women are disproportionately affected by sexual harassment in various sectors, evidence also shows that men, too, are victims. The only difference is that they hardly ever speak up.
Exception
Men like Mr Finn, who made global headlines a few weeks ago when a tribunal in the UK ruled that his supervisor calling him bald “is equivalent to remarking on the size of a woman’s breasts” amounts to sexual harassment, are the exception.
International news sites reported that he took the company to the tribunal claiming, among other things, that he had been the victim of sexual harassment after an incident with the factory supervisor.
Mr Finn alleged that his supervisor called him a “bald c***” during a row. It’s reported that the comment on his appearance upset him more than the “Anglo-Saxon” language.
The case raised an age-old question: Where do we draw the line in determining what is sexual harassment and what isn’t?
The one word that distinguishes sexual harassment from any other interaction is the word ‘unwelcome’.
As long as the other person finds the sexual verbal or physical attention unwelcome, it qualifies as sexual harassment. Various reputable organisations back this up.
The World Association of News Publishers defines sexual harassment as “any unwanted and offensive behaviour of a sexual nature that violates a person’s dignity and makes feel degraded, humiliated, intimidated or threatened”.
This definition alone should settle any debates on whether Mr Finn was sexually harassed or not, but it won’t. Not entirely, at least. And especially because Mr Finn is a man.
A quick scan of social media revealed that the reactions to Mr Finn’s case ranged from humour and mockery to downright incredulity.
As others playfully suggested that Mr Finn should accept his status “like a real man and move on”, a few knowledgeable and sympathetic ones pointed out that sexual harassment amongst men was a silent vice that needed to be addressed.
The stigma surrounding reporting might make it a Herculean task for men to do so, but it’s not impossible.
Mr Finn has shown that a revolution is possible. We can each play our part by not stigmatising men who speak up.
Miss Oneya comments on social and gender topics. @FaithOneya; [email protected]
