I almost committed suicide; thanks to anti-FGM work

Even as President William Ruto reiterated the government's commitment to end female genital mutilation (FGM), the strive to attain the target is driving foot soldiers on the ground to acute stress disorder.

“FGM should not be a conversation we are having in Kenya in the 21st Century,” he said on Monday at Safari Park Hotel during the launch of the Administration of Justice in Kenya Annual Report 2021/2022.

“We must go out our way and I want to assure you of my administration's support in ensuring that we eliminate female genital mutilation in our country because it is not only retrogressive but it is a danger to the health of all our girls,” he committed.

His commitment was preceded by Chief Justice Martha Koome calling upon him to be “one of our champions to say in the year 2022 we cannot have little girls removed from school to be subjected to FGM (and) early marriages - little girls to be doing exams from maternity wing. We must say no to sexual and gender-based violence.”

Mental health

But those saying no to sexual and gender-based violence (SGBV) are suffering from trauma with no one to respond to their mental wellbeing.

Esnahs Nyaramba is one of them.

For more than a decade, Ms Nyaramba has been running anti-FGM campaigns in Kisii and Nyamira counties.

Throughout the years, the experiences have left her with post-traumatic stress, a burden she says, she “struggles to manage on her own.”

From dealing with threats of family members unhappy with her protecting girls from the cut, to cleaning up infected wounds caused by the cut, the experiences are emotionally and physically overwhelming.

There are moments she just doesn’t want to speak with anybody or eat anything. Sleep also becomes very elusive.

But her phone never stops ringing. Since she has built her name in the fight against the vice, distressed girls or concerned neighbours call her from as far as Migori and Kuria, seeking her immediate attention without care that she is suffocating from the inside - and she equally needs urgent psychosocial help.

“Sometimes last June, I almost committed suicide. I had reached the extreme of psychological distress yet I did not have anyone to talk to,” she opens up.

Corrective surgery

Her work takes formidable mental and moral strength.

“I assess girls suffering from fistula resulting from FGM. You can imagine how traumatising it is to examine a girl or woman who is in so much pain, clean the wound covered with pus, take them to hospital for corrective surgery and bring them back to your house to take care of them,” she says.

She also handles cases of girls who have procured unsafe abortion and who need immediate medical care.

“People call me to save these girls. To them, I’m their saviour but inside me, I’m in tatters. I have been broken down into pieces that need to be picked up and patched,” she notes.

She recalls a recent incident that sends tremors down her nerves.

Spoiled egg

“A case of a 15-year-old girl was brought to my attention. She is blind and was married off at 14 years when the parents realised she was pregnant,” she says.

“Then when she was delivering, her mother-in-law cut her. The cut was so bad and she got an infection. Instead of taking her to hospital, they applied a spoiled egg on the wound.”

“It was such a horrendous experience. I can’t explain how I feel every time I have flashbacks of how I found her helplessly holding her child. You can imagine how bad she smelled.”

The anti-FGM advocate says all she needs is a session with a therapist to let loose her psychological turmoil.

“I’d also wish to take a one-week break and visit places with exciting sceneries and have a breath of fresh air,” she says.

Well, perhaps, this is a call to President Dr Ruto’s administration to extend their support to the grassroots anti-FGM campaigners, especially in offering mental health services.

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