Concern as domestic violence trauma turns victims hostile

Traumatised domestic violence victims turn violent and vent their anger on children or relatives when their plight remains unaddressed.

Photo credit: File I Nation Media Group

What you need to know:

  • According to county guidance and counselling officer Hawaa Abdighafoor, unaddressed domestic violence breeds victims with mental disorders.
  • County Gender executive Abbas Kunyo, however, notes that the administration has taken steps towards ending the problem through women empowerment.

In late October, Alice Halako, a traumatised victim of domestic violence, seriously injured her eight-year-old son using a razor blade.

According to police reports, the child had lost some books and a pen at school.

A medical report from the Hola Referral Hospital indicates that the woman cut the child from head to toe, including his genitals.

Relatives note that they heard the child scream. “She would punish the child once in a while, which is normal of a parent, but this time when she opened the door and we saw traces of blood in her hands, we knew it was not normal,” says Maggie Habona, her sister-in-law.

They broke into the house, rescued the child, called his father, and rushed him to the referral hospital. He had lost a lot of blood and was in so much pain. Doctors stopped the bleeding then stitched some of the wounds.

Regrets

Meanwhile, Ms Halako was watching closely, equally shocked at what she had done. “You could see she was confused, like she had just come to her senses and realised she almost killed her child. She regrets that to this day,” notes Ms Habona.

She says Ms Halako was not violent, and it was not her nature to get angry. Ms Habona adds that she was a quiet person, kept to herself and would not engage in fights.

“For a while now, they (Halako and her husband) have been having issues in their marriage. There was a lot of abuse that made her leave the union and went back to her parents for some years,” Ms Habona says.

However, after staying away for some time, she returned to her house to take care of her son, but the ill-treatment worsened. The sister-in-law says the couple would quarrel and used “unpleasant words”.

“She was hardworking and one would say she was the breadwinner for her child and provided for herself,” she says.

Mr Jonathan Buya, another relative, notes that Ms Halako complained to the parents about the ill-treatment by her husband many times. While her parents advised her to quit the union and return home, the in-laws disregarded her plight and defended their son instead.

“I think she lost it, she was traumatised from the multiple incidents of domestic violence and the hard-hitting economic tides, hence took that out on the child. Nobody could imagine she would hurt the boy like that,” he says.

Ms Halako appeared at the Hola magistrate’s court where she pleaded guilty, and is currently out on probation. She has since parted ways with her husband and the child is now in the custody of his uncles.

Ms Halako remains shocked when she sees her son recovering from the wounds and does not believe she did all that to him. “You can never tell when you are depressed and you only realise you need help after you have done something beyond your normal self. I hurt my child so badly,” she says remorsefully, amid tears.

She is just one among many victims of domestic violence who turn hostile to their children, family members, and relatives. According to county guidance and counselling officer Hawaa Abdighafoor, unaddressed domestic violence breeds victims with mental disorders.

County cases

“More than 200 cases of domestic violence are reported to the police in Tana River in a year, some of which are later solved at home by elders, but the victims remain traumatised and a risk to society,” she says, noting that girls and women are the most affected, hence the need to invest more in counselling and rescue centres.

Ms Abdighafoor says female genital mutilation is the leading cause of domestic violence, with victims living with the stigma becoming bitter and aggressive.

“We don't have a rescue centre and a proper guidance and counselling facility, but we can't ignore that 80 per cent of our children are being raised by parents who are traumatised as a result of cases of domestic abuse,” he said.

County Gender executive Abbas Kunyo, however, notes that the administration has taken steps towards ending the problem through women empowerment. “Most of these cases are inspired by tough economic times. We are geared towards enabling women to have a source of income so that they don't have to endure domestic violence just to earn food for their children.”

As the county prepares for the 16 Days of Activism against Domestic Violence, the executive notes that having a rescue centre and a robust guidance and counselling campaign will be the major talking point.