JOWAL JONES: The new poison of choice is prescription drugs

Like a broken record, I have been ranting and raving against drug abuse by my comrades for two years now. I have fought tooth and nail to see my comrades shun harmful substances such as boiled marijuana, liquefied miraa and second-generation liquor.

It now seems like my comrades got tired of my nagging and decided to modify the way they conduct their favourite pastime—drug abuse. The authorities were also watching, thus my comrades devised new ways to legitimise their actions.

Reminds me of an analogy from Grandpa Richard’s favourite book, Things Fall Apart. Eneke the bird said that since man had learnt to shoot without missing, he had learnt to fly without perching.

My comrades’ new poisons of choice, it turns out, are prescription drugs. Young people are always on the prowl for a “quick cure” or a “quick fix” for all ailments, from self-induced hangovers to laziness. Yea, they do have a pill for laziness.

The galling fact is that my comrades never even bother to acquire a legit prescription from a decent medic.

Last week, a local daily ran an ominous front page story about how university students are falling over themselves to acquire a Sh90 pill that is widely used to procure abortions. The drug is reportedly flying off the shelves near institutions of higher learning.

CAN CORRODE STOMACH

The fact that it is designed to cure cancer and the warning by experts that it can corrode stomach walls seem not to worry my troubled colleagues.

On Tuesday this week, this paper reported the findings of a study that showed that the use of emergency contraceptive pills increased the risk of a baby being conceived outside the womb.

I suggest that my female colleagues sit at a corner and ruminate over this fact, given that they are accustomed to popping morning-after pills like candy

My bearded colleagues, on the other hand, have been accused of misusing that small blue pill called Viagra. Few things rankle Grandpa Richard more than the fact that young people seem intent on laying claim to ailments like erectile dysfunction that were

previously affected senior citizens.

“I’m hardly surprised at this trend,” says Grandpa Richard. “It is typical of your comrades —always looking for shortcuts. In my day people got chicken pox, measles and mumps and were satisfied with that.”

Indeed, legend has it that when Grandpa Richard was a young man, his immune system was so strong he could cure his brother’s measles just by standing next to him. Save for the occasional blood pressure that’s caused by my comrades’ asininity, the old

man hasn’t fallen sick in 50 years. He attributes his good health to not popping drugs whenever he loses sleep.

Even though he’s not a physician, my old man warns that some commonly prescribed drugs can have adverse effects that include heart attack, stroke, kidney failure, irreversible bone loss and cancer.

“It’s a frightening state of affairs, and it’s going to get a lot worse if someone doesn’t step in and straighten these young people soon.”