We married two months ago, yet he is already cheating

Q: We got married two months ago and my husband has already started showing disinterest in me. We argue a lot over minor things. I saw an SMS from a woman on his phone and on doing some research from friends I discovered they were together before we married. I hate this woman and whenever I see her around the estate I feel bitter. My marriage is very young and I wonder if it will survive. I’m confused on what I should do—to leave or to stay.  Why did my husband marry me yet he was dating this woman? This is very unfair to me. I’m so devastated. Help me Aunt.

A: It is sad that your marriage is still young yet you are already facing issues of infidelity. My heart goes out to you. From your narration the relationship with the other woman was present even before you wed, which means you will need a lot of hard work to untangle the relationship. 

You seem to blame the woman for interfering with your marriage but while she is on the wrong to keep up with the relationship even after the man married you, you should also include your husband in the mix. Look, who is married here? Your husband. Be aware that your husband is the one who holds the power over the continuity or break of this relationship. Yes, he was dating this woman and yet he married you which may indicate that you are the woman he loves most and he want to spend his life with. You need to have an honest and a candid conversation with your hubby.  If the communication proves difficult, consider involving a family mediator or a marriage therapist. During the talk, let your husband know that you are concerned about the future of your marriage and his relationship with the other woman. Let him make clear on his commitment. If he will be remorseful and recommit to the union, then your marriage will be saved. If he does not; then you must decide to stay and share him with the other woman or quit the union.