The woman cheating with my husband will not stop, despite me warning her

Q: My marriage of 10 years is almost going under. My husband is intimately involved with another woman and it is driving me crazy. Sometimes when she calls him I answer the phone and fight her to make her know that she is dealing with a married man with children. I even call her through my number but she is still seeing my hubby. She is really bringing unhappiness to my marriage. I am wondering what to do. Please help me, aunt.

A: Your marriage is going through a tough time and you seem to be looking at the other woman as being the responsible party in the affair. That could be the reason why she has become the target for your rage and anger. On the contrary, infidelity in marriage is a pointer of a marriage that is having many other issues. This means that blaming the other woman will keep you from taking responsibility for the problems in the marriage and your own feelings, so you pretend that if it had not been for the other woman there would have never been an affair. 

How you handle the situation will determine if you will save your marriage. It is not wise to harass the other woman because that only means that you will end up fighting so many others, as you continue in this marriage. Ultimately, your husband is the guilty party here. 

Interrogate the problems in your union, address them, and know that this does not shift responsibility for your spouse's affair to you. Communication is a great way to handle the drift in your union. In an honest talk, air your feelings to your husband and do not hesitate to let him know how his infidelity is affecting you and the marriage. This will be the best time to talk about piled-up unresolved issues however sensitive they might be. Hopefully, you will put marriage first before yourselves. 

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