Plain Truth: There should be no shame in a woman seeking a rich man
We should not judge a woman who prioritises her financial security. PHOTO| POOL
What you need to know:
- Settling with a man who has little and growing with him is no guarantee that he will never leave you or that your marriage will be happy
I like people watching. I love to observe a person’s demeanor and mannerisms as I try to imagine their stories and the things that motivate their decisions. My friend Fay and I were at it the other day. We observed this elderly man on a date with a gorgeous young woman. Fay wondered whether he knew she probably would not be on this date with him if he didn’t own the Mercedes he packed outside. I was confident that he was aware. That most people in cross-generational relationships are aware of their place.
If this woman had walked out from this quiet, private restaurant and walked hand in hand with this man down a busy Nairobi street, brows would have been raised.
“Has she no shame?” Someone would have asked, pouting at her.
Its 2021, time we killed this shame we want women to carry around for wanting to get with wealthier men. It is time it stopped being news when a woman says financial stability or wealth is top on her list of qualities she looks for in a man.
We have peddled the lie that a woman is only honourable if she settles with a struggling man and grows with him for far too long. The truth is that there is nothing wrong with a woman who chooses not to ‘struggle’ with someone. To go for a man that’s already made. The other truth is that settling with a man who has little and growing with him is no guarantee that he will never leave you or that your marriage will be happy.
If yachts and fine dining tickle your fancy, go for it. And don’t feel a need to explain your decisions every time someone raises their eyebrows. Own your choices. Whilst I prefer to be wined and dined before a man can declare his intentions, I see no problem with a woman who chooses to walk up to the man she wants and asks him straight up if he’s game. All I see is a woman who knows what she wants.
I see no shame in a woman prioritising financial security. There is no shame in a woman seeking a rich man, or any other type of man for that matter. We all go into relationships with different needs. If hers is a man who will never fail to show up for her financially, who are we to judge? Isn’t it the same way men write lists of qualities that a woman should have to be considered marriage material? Lists that have women eating chicken feed, lightening their skins and taking cooking classes?
Let’s stop assuming that a woman who wants to get with a man isn’t aware of her abilities to go out there to make her own money. Most of them usually are. If a woman is aware of all of her life options, and she still puts the ability of her man to cater for her needs first, there should be no shame in that.
If you are a hard working woman who wants to stand on your feet before you can stand with someone else, that is good. If you do not care for a man’s financial abilities and instead prefer to see his personality, that is also good. These, however, are YOUR choices. Do not demonise someone because their choices or priorities are different from yours.
