Plain Truth: Dear sister, success has nothing to do with love

Have you heard a beautiful, successful woman lamenting that the reason she is still single or that the reason she is dating a man she shouldn’t is that men who should be wooing her are intimidated by her success? I have especially these past few months and I think that this idea of men being intimidated by how much she has achieved is just a lie women are telling themselves.

To be fair, there are men out there who do not want strong, confident, opinionated women. Men who prefer a woman they can walk all over. These men, however, are not who any woman should be tripping over herself to please.

Resigning to the fact that you are always going to be single because you think you are too intimidating or too successful is being lazy. It is being too lazy to do the work that being in a relationship requires. It is refusing to make yourself vulnerable, to go on dates.

Singlehood

On the flip side, I have heard women who have done well for themselves lamenting about their singlehood. Women who feel owed a relationship by the universe because they have done lots with their lives. Well, ladies, that is not how it works. Stop thinking that if you work hard and smart, that alongside the corner office, men will be flocking all around you trying to worm their way into your heart. The plain truth is that having a good job does not make you a good catch.

The hard work begins with putting yourself out there. Make yourself available. Your status alone will not bring the man of your dreams running to you. You have to get out of your corner office, meet people. If that is too much for you, we have Tinder now. What is definite is that to meet someone, you have to get out there one way or another.

Your ability to do all this is what makes you a good catch, not how much you can bring to the table – unless of course the man you want is one who is looking for a cougar to take care of him financially. If this is the case, then financial stability is all you will need.

Men are not intimidated by you

You have to work at both your job and your love life. You can’t put all your efforts in just your career and expect that your love life will feed off these efforts. It would be great if life works like that but it doesn’t.

If you examine your life and your actions and you still believe that all the men around you are intimidated by you, then you are probably hanging around the wrong men. Only weak, passive men are intimidated by a woman who excels at the things she does. To a confident man, a successful woman is a great turn on.

Get out of your corner office every so often. Spend some of your time and energy working on relationship not just chasing career goals.