What you need to know:
- The unfortunate thing with relationships is that each party has interests and desires that may not align with the other.
- She may love you but is sexually attracted to another man.
- These scenarios do occur and it is wise to go with your gut feeling.
I’m aged 30 and have dated my girlfriend for four years now. Within the first two years of dating, she cheated on me with the choir leader. I caught her red handed kissing the guy, and this caused me to put our wedding plans on hold. I felt lost but she begged me to forgive her. I eventually did, but I came to realise she was still cheating on me with the same person. She tells me she still wants to get married to me, and I still love her, but I want to part ways with her. What should I do?
Don’t confuse yourself about what to do when you already have the answer. Your girlfriend has cheated on you and she is still doing so because you forgave her. She has mastered your weaknesses and is using the same to forge her way back into your heart. It's understandable how difficult it is to let her go because you love her, but it is not worth it. Please protect your heart from unnecessary stress.
Based on your explanation, it is evident that you noted a red flag regarding your partner and decided to put on hold your wedding plan. You forgave her and even decide to give her time to come back to her senses, but it seems she has decided she will get married to you and continue being a lover to the other guy. Please don’t enter a lifetime commitment knowing very well you are being cheated on. The cheating will continue till death do you apart.
As I have always said, it is better to break a relationship than marriage. You have seen the red lights already, why are you pushing yourself to misery? If she genuinely loves you, she can't cheat on you! Trust is like fine China, once broken it can't be repaired. Even if you insist on marrying her, you will live with doubts in your marriage. Anyway, the decision is yours.
Rev Geoffrey Avudiko.
What I have noticed from your story is that you love the lady very much, but she doesn't love you! By giving her a second chance, you demonstrated maturity and true love. I support your decision of parting ways, because you have seen the red flags yourself. Since you had started planning for your wedding, it is wise to seek advice from your spiritual leaders.
If she has cheated on you twice she'll definitely cheat on you again. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Open your eyes. Leave her and move on with your life. It is better to break a relationship than to break a marriage. It is interesting that your girlfriend is in a relationship with the choir leader yet she is engaged to you. She continues to cheat, and then comes begging for your forgiveness. If she can dare cheat while in courtship, what will happen when you get married? It's unwise to marry someone you don't trust. It is not too late to call it quits.
I believe you already know what you should do. The unfortunate thing with relationships is that each party has interests and desires that may not align with the other. She may love you but is sexually attracted to another man. These scenarios do occur and it is wise to go with your gut feeling. Regardless of the time invested, there is no point getting married for the sake of ticking a box to satisfy societal expectation. Be true to her and yourself, tell her what you really feel and if you must let her go. Otherwise you will live a marriage of constant heartbreak and resentment.