My ex-girlfriend is getting married and it hurts like hell

Q: I am a 30-year-old guy who broke up a year ago after dating for two years. She asked for a breakup after we realised we could not be an item. Early this year I was told by a friend that she is getting married and the wedding is scheduled to happen in three weeks. I checked on her Instagram and I confirmed the news. I immediately called her and she confirmed it's true and I felt hurt. I feel uneasy although she is my ex. The reality that we will never be together is hitting me hard. I do not know how to deal with this reality. 

A: It is alright to go through the emotions you are going through. As you go through this phase of sorrow, you must also look for a way to move on. The fact that your ex-girlfriend is getting married is clear evidence that she was not meant for you and that is why you broke up. Accept this as reality even if it is the last thing you want to do. This is the first step to your healing. Following your ex on social media and getting updated on her progress will hurt you more. This will slow down the transition stage and keep you lingering on the move-on phase. It was also unwise to contact her after you had the news of her wedding. You should stop following her on social media and in person. 

Share your feelings with a trusted friend, a family member, or a therapist. Have a conversation with them about how you feel about your ex getting hitched. They will help you feel relaxed by telling you reasons why your ex is not good for you. Additionally, having a conversation where you open up your heart will help you get rid of these hurtful feelings. The truth is even if you ended the relationship on good terms, you were left devastated. As such, do not pretend to be happy about her marriage. Just let her be and focus on yourself. Your future is brighter and you will eventually get an amazing lady who will love you forever. 

Feedback to the editor write to [email protected]