It’s never too late to redefine yourself

I’m learning a lot this week from Kim Kardashian. Hear me out before you flip the page. This week, Kim Kardashian did two things: pass her first bar exam, and officially file for her status as a single person in America. Now, I’m a fan – yes, I said it – even though I know she’s a billionaire, and I’ll deal with the ethical repercussions at a later date, and here’s why. For a long time, with undoubtedly hardworking management from you know who, she’s managed to continue the empire that her father left their family and basically carried it on her back. Sure, her mother and other sisters have created things in their own right, but they started off of her – and subsequently, their father’s – launching pad. She says it on KUWTK all the time.

And she has followed her father’s footsteps in other ways as well. I didn’t even know she was in law school, but of course it makes sense – she’s been advocating for the wrongfully incarcerated under the past two regimes to be set free, so it only follows that she would try and do it with her own legal knowledge as well. Remember Cyntoia Brown, who was put in prison for killing her pimp, who was sexually trafficking her? And she was jailed for 15 years? Kim K’s activism is a big part of what got her out. One might say with that many dollars, one could buy the best tutoring available to get any degree they wanted to as well – but not many do, do they? Especially because she doesn’t actually need another career.

On a less political but still legal note, Kim K also asked the court to legally recognise her as a single person, which is something that you can apparently do in the middle of a divorce so you can go on with your life, I guess, as the court case goes on. Go figure, America. It sounds like she really wants to be done with the Kanye chapter of her life, despite being on good terms. It occurred to me that she did this, probably because he is trying to get her back. And this is where the lesson comes in for the end of this year.

Kim K married Kanye in a much acclaimed, much celebrated, and much doubted wedding, her…third? Maybe? And no one thought it would last. Six years and four (really gorgeous) children later, Kim called it quits. There was a lot going on in the relationship, her family and its obsession with taping everything and their own created monster superficial culture, and Kanye’s mental health affairs, what with his mother dying, and constantly reshifting as an artist and creator. That mental health bit and dealing with a partner with mental health issues (which, let’s be honest, most of us as adults have unresolved ones, and everyone needs therapy) is a whole article in itself, but I don’t think anyone can say that she didn’t try to be consistent and supportive. And when she decided she was out, she was out. Even when Kanye was singing for her to come back on a worldwide stage, she was out. Even when he repeatedly said that he wants her back so they can be a family again, she. Was. Out.

So two things, from these two stories, for me. It’s never too late to redefine yourself – whether that’s as a lawyer, or a video vixen, a fashion connoisseur, or an activist. Kim is a 41-year-old woman whose new chapter is the law. You can do whatever the hell you want, at whatever age you want. Women with less money and fewer kids, ha! have done it. The end of the year often brings far too much self-flagellation in the form of what we should and should not have done. But there’s time, and grace, for that.

And two – if you want to leave him, leave him. And leave him in the past. Don’t buy into the big gestures if you know why you left, ok? Sometimes, the universe brings back your ex to check if you’re still stupid. Don’t be stupid.

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