What you need to know:
- My boyfriend works in South Sudan, while I live in Kenya
- What bothers me is that while other people say distance kills relationships, I love it
I'm in a long-term relationship. My boyfriend works in South Sudan, while I live in Kenya. What bothers me is that while other people say distance kills relationships, I love it. To me, him being away, helps me focus on myself, and when he comes home for a few weeks after being away for six months, we rarely fight as we focus on enjoying each other company. I love him but at a distance. What's wrong with me?
There is nothing wrong with you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Different things work for different people. As long as both of you can make it work for yourselves and are committed to making it work, it is fine. Don't listen to other people's opinions about what works for you.
Why do you think that there is something wrong with you? If you have that feeling, then know you are cheating yourself that you are okay with the relationship. If you are both agree with the distance, then you are good to go. Don't mind what others say about the kind of relationship you have, because you will lose focus.
Rev Geoffrey Avudiko, Botwa,Kitale.
There are different types of relationships; family, platonic and romantic. In your case, I'm am not sure as to where I should classify you because, in all relationships, members yearn to be close to each other. Can I guess that your relationship is just friendship with no strings attached? The answer is no! Either way, I suspect that you are mature enough to be in a relationship.
You already have a clear picture and all the advantages that come with you being in a long-distance relationship. If it works for you do not expect it to work for other people and therefore there is no point in listening to outsiders regarding long-distance relationships. So if both of you are okay with the distance then do your part and allow your boyfriend to also act his part. The combined effort and some level of understanding will not be difficult for both of you.
There is nothing wrong with you apart from the fact that you feel that you are not following the perceived norm of a relationship where the couple is seeing each other as often as possible, which does not guarantee harmony. Long-distance relationships are known to be difficult for those who need a constant supply of their partner's time and affection. In your case, you are happy in your current setting because not all people can deal with the constant presence of their partner. If you are both happy with your dynamic, then there is no need to worry about not craving to be together all the time. Better to see each other in intervals and be happy rather than being together with frequent fights. What works is what you both should maintain.
Maurice Matheka Relationship Counsellor
NEXT WEEK'S DILEMMA
It's been three weeks now since I discovered that my Dear wife has been sleeping with our next-door neighbor who is also a married Man. The wife to the neighbour is also our close family friend. Am heartbroken beyond imagination.
Three weeks ago, after work, I was relaxing in our living room. Our son ran to me holding my wife's phone. He tells me to set up a Game for him. As I am navigating the phone, I stumble upon a romantic message from our neighbour. I immediately summon my wife to explain what has been going on. She claims that the neighbor has been pestering her for some time. I enquire why she has never disclosed it and she claims that they have never met and that the neighbour picked her number from our gateman. On further enquiry from another source, am told that she was seen in town with the neighbour. When I confronted her again, she confessed that she met him once in town and that was all.
On pushing her further, she confesses that while I was away she went and spent a night with him in a different town. We have been married for three years now and are blessed with a 2-year-old son. We had a civil wedding two years ago.
What hurts me most is the fact that she lied to me in a bid to cover up her promiscuity. I'm hurt and I don't think that I will ever forgive her. Since then, we have not been talking. Whenever the idea of divorce comes up, I shed tears because of our son. I do not wish him to grow with the care of only one parent. I'm truly hurt and I don't think I'll ever leave her in my life. She is 26, and I am 30. What do I do? Amos
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