What you need to know:
- I'm suspecting that my teenage daughter is pregnant. She drastically changed two months ago and keeps to herself and recently she was throwing up
- I asked her close friend who told me that she is six weeks pregnant
A: I'm so devastated and I seriously need your help. I'm suspecting that my teenage daughter is pregnant. She drastically changed two months ago and keeps to herself and recently she was throwing up. I asked her close friend who told me that she is six weeks pregnant. I think she fears to disclose the news to us especially to her very strict father. I wonder how I will approach the matter. I fear she might be thinking of aborting. What should I do?
Q: You sound distraught and I feel for you. The first thing you need to do is to create a conducive environment for you to talk with your daughter. Teen age is a fragile stage and it is wise to give this matter the sensitivity it deserves. Let her know that you are aware that she may be pregnant and assure her that you will be there for her. Let her tell her story first. It is important to get a good picture of the circumstances in which the pregnancy occurred. Listen carefully for any indicators that there may be more to the story than she would allow on. Remember it is important to get a feel for what's going on, so you can take appropriate action. While I understand that you may be angry at your daughter's behaviour, condemnation is not the way to go. Keep reminding yourself that your daughter is already scared by what she is going through and venting your anger to her can only make things worse. Chances are, she is aware of the mess she has caused to herself and she is full of regrets. You may let her know what to expect during pregnancy in terms of her health and that of the baby. You must inform your husband about your daughter's condition. You say he is strict but he will need to accept his daughter's hard reality. Keep monitoring her and her health. With assurance of support and a favorable environment for her, chances of abortion could be very minimal. You may consider visiting a counselor.
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