I don’t like my father much after my mum left him

Q: My siblings and I live with our father because my mum left for greener pastures abroad after a tough marriage with my father. Living with him makes me hate him even more because I don't love him like a daughter would because he has never shown me fatherly love and he would rather do anything for my brother and sister and not for me. My mum educates, clothes, and provides whatever I need because my father doesn’t give me anything. I feel like this hate will cause me some tragedy. Please advice.

A: Like every other child your desire is to have a father who supports, encourages, and shows how much he loves you and I empathize with your situation. You have not mentioned when your father started treating you this way and why he does so.  One can sense a lot of mistrust and bitterness from you towards your father.  Since there has been communication difficulty between you two, I would suggest you use a family mediator.  During the talk, let your dad know that how he has been treating you is hurtful and express your discontent. Talking will help in resolving your issues as it is the only way to know the reason for this rift. If you ask your dad why he treats you the way he does, he may tell you and that would go a long way in improving your relationship. However, bear in mind that how you ask him and when you do this bears an implication.  It is not a good idea to ask him when you are having an argument or when you are emotional. Hopefully, the family mediator or a close member of the family will guide you to approach this matter correctly.  Through a positive response, you will have the best chance of getting the real answer and begin to work on your relationship.  A tragedy will be counterproductive and if anything, it will only make things worse. Wishing you a better relationship with your dad.