Heart Advice: Can a man sue a woman who gets pregnant without his consent?

 Men and women enter into a relationship with varied reasons. PHOTO| POOL

What you need to know:

  • Men and women enter into a relationship with varied reasons.
  • Be ready to accept the consequences of your choice, if you do not want any pregnancy, make use of family planning methods
  • Relationship Counsellor, Maurice Matheka: Questions that may arise are why you did not use protection to prevent pregnancy or why did she not use contraception if you mutually agreed that your relations were not about creating a family

I read the article on "The rise of single blended families" in Saturday magazine, and I beg to ask one question. It's clear men and women get into relationships for different reasons and not necessarily to bear children. My question is, can a man sue a woman who takes advantage of a relationship to get pregnant without having agreed with him to sire children together? And at the same who should be liable for such pregnancy if the two had agreed the relationship is not about children or marriage? John

READER'S ADVISE... 


Yes, men and women enter into a relationship with varied reasons and interests. The culprit of all these escapades is the man. Am yet to prove if it's possible to sue one party in case of unwanted pregnancy. When one leaves for the forest to fetch firewood, they are always ready for any eventuality. I mean you cannot get into love relations without thinking of the outcome. What happens every time one makes love without protection? There are possible outcomes fully known to you; pregnancy or worse still an STI. You cannot compel somebody to take liability for the results of a consented unprotected sex.
How do you in the first place sue somebody for having been pregnant for you, when you were not drugged into lovemaking? How do you erase off your mind of an accident while you are traveling?
Be ready to accept the consequences of your choice, if you do not want any pregnancy, make use of family planning methods. If you don't take precautions, accept the pregnancy as being of your own making.
Ouma Ragumo – Sifuyo

I do believe that the issue of childbearing lies between the two of you—a man and a woman. To some extent, the man is the one who deposits the child in the womb. The lady is just a receiver; why should she be sued? When you chose to have unprotected sex, didn't you know that choices have consequences? I don't think it is prudent to file such a case.
Rev Geoffrey Avudiko, Botwa, Kitale.

Is your question merely hypothetical or is it real life experience? Nevertheless, the matter would better be handled by a legal expert, but I won't mind giving my own opinion. Legally, getting pregnant can be construed as an act of God and the woman may plead innocence along those lines. You are also partially to blame since you didn't take adequate measures to avoid conception. Once the child is born, it's the responsibility of the parents to take care of it. The law will not allow you to punish an innocent child. Please be prepared for any eventuality in case you intend to enter into such an arrangement.
John Wambugu via email


Regardless of how they were conceived, whether by conspiracy or rape, children must be provided for and protected from neglect. That's the bottom line.
Santos Writes

People must be responsible for their actions. How can you be enjoying conjugal rights and expect nothing in return? If you don't want children, be meeting in town have meals, enjoy fellowship with the other person, and part ways. Don't enjoy other things and regret later. 
Duncan Royal Class


EXPERTS TAKE

Both men and women have been known to take advantage of each other for a multitude of reasons, especially if a potential future has been perceived. As you think of suing, your stumbling block will be in proving that she was calculative in making sure she got pregnant as a way of pinning you down. Some laws protect the interest of the child that may supersede the mother's intentions. Questions that may arise are why you did not use protection to prevent pregnancy or why did she not use contraception if you mutually agreed that your relations were not about creating a family. For further clarification, I would advise you to seek a legal consult so that you know what your options are.
Maurice Matheka, Relationship counsellor 


NEXT WEEK'S DILEMMA....
I am writing to you as the last step before I move on and leave my marriage. I feel it's of no use staying in an environment that is unhealthy. What do you do to a wife that holds on to things? She finds it difficult to forgive or to let go of the slightest of issues?
Lawrence

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