He broke up with me, but I still want him back

I have tried apologising to my partner with gifts, love letters but wants nothing to do with me. PHOTO| POOL

What you need to know:

  • Once you meet a new man it is good to enjoy the new relations as a way of testing the waters rather than jumping into the deep end expecting marriage to blossom from the union.
  • You can easily gain a title but if you fail to be true friends then at some level it becomes a relationship of convenience.
  • Relationship Counsellor Maurice Matheka: A friend as a partner is far more valuable than gaining a marital title.

Readers' Advice


It's sad and hard to let go of what you still need. One of the things that threaten any relationship and even bring it to halt is mistrust. If this disease encroaches a relationship, it's destined for death. One of the mistakes you did is to lie. Had you explained to him the truth in the first place, you wouldn't be in this situation now. The bitter truth is that he is gone. Even if you manage to bring him back he will never trust you.

Rev Geoffrey Avudiko, Botwa,Kitale.

At 24, you have so far decided to test the water with both feet. You should understand that you are at an age where men will flirt with you and send you texts. All these men send texts and call because you too had a crush on them and shared your number. Life is never friendly to the undecided lot. You will waste half of your life if you sit on the fence. The reality will dawn on you from 35 years of age. So, have some limit with men, your moral baseline should guide you. No man should take responsibility for another man's escapades. Buying gifts are immaterial if you are not focused and decided. Be wise, before you are branded cheap and loose.

Ouma Ragumo – Sifuyo


Expert's Take

I feel that you rushed the process of moving from one man to the other. Once you meet a new man it is good to enjoy the new relations as a way of testing the waters rather than jumping into the deep end expecting marriage to blossom from the union. You can easily gain a title but if you fail to be true friends then at some level it becomes a relationship of convenience. The fact that he had to revenge tells me that your relationship was toxic but in your opinion things we're fine. This means your relationship lacks the kind of friendship I speak of. You may be together but once you begin to boldly play with each other's emotions it unveils the nature of your bond. Despite how you feel for him your relationship was not going to survive with that type of back & forth. Do not force him to be with you because if he does take you back you may be setting yourself up for misery. I advise you to walk away and take this as a learning process. Remember a friend as a partner is far more valuable than gaining a marital title. Let marriage be a bonus.



NEXT WEEK'S DILEMMA

I read the article on "The rise of single blended families" in the Saturday magazine, and I beg to ask one question. It's clear men and women get into relationships for different reasons and not necessarily to bear children. My question is, can a man sue a woman who takes advantage of a relationship to get pregnant without having agreed with him to sire children together? And at the same who should be liable for such pregnancy if the two had agreed the relationship is not about children or marriage? John


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