Anatomy, age and other factors that affect sexual satisfaction

Truth be told: many men worry about the size of their penises and whether it is really good enough to satisfy a sexual partner. Many actually buy products online to increase the sizes of their organs. Whether these products work is a story for another day. But what about the size of the clitoris? Biologists note that the clitoris is a vestigial penis; that during embryonic development, it fails to develop into a penis because the female lacks chemical triggers to make this happen. 

Whatever the case, it is rare to hear women talk about the sizes of their clitoris. For many women it is not a concern or they have learnt to ignore and live with it. But Rodah was different. She came to the Sexology Clinic because she was concerned.

“My clitoris is big and ugly and I am concerned,” she said, “I rarely remove my clothes in the presence of my husband because it is embarrassing.”

Rodah, 32 had been married for three years and had one child. Her self-consciousness was affecting her intimacy and she feared that with time it could affect the harmony of the relationship. She never allowed her man to touch her and she could never relax during coitus because she had to monitor his moves in case he wandered down there. She rarely had orgasms.

I did a full assessment of Rodah including a detailed medical and sexual history and a physical exam. Rodah’s clitoris was not overtly out of the normal size. It was slightly above average.

“You are a lucky woman,” I said without thinking much to Rodah’s surprise and disgust.

“I think you are not getting me doctor,” she said, “I could not even undress with other girls during my boarding school days, I need help to be comfortable, possibly surgery.”

What we know from research is that the clitoris is a key organ for sexual pleasure. In fact, the origin of the term which has its roots in Greek, is sometimes taken to be “the key” and many doctors have jokingly taken this to mean “the key to orgasm”. This is because the clitoris is by and large what makes women to climax. The organ has the highest number of nerve endings in the human race since men do not have any organ with as many nerves. It is estimated that, with its relatively small size compared to other organs in the body, the clitoris has over 8000 nerve endings. This makes it quite sensitive.

A bigger clitoris is easily reachable compared to a small one. As such, the woman with a larger organ easily gets pleasure and can achieve orgasm more easily because of increased contact. Of course, the state of mind has also to be right for this benefit to be realised. A woman who is stressed or unable to pay attention during intimacy does not easily climax, clitoris size notwithstanding. 

Then there is also the issue of the position of the clitoris. The closer it is to the vaginal opening the higher the chances of orgasm. In one study it was found that women whose clitoris are over five millimeters away from the vaginal opening had lower chances of orgasm. This is one of the reasons why a woman may prefer one sex position to the other. 

The position does determine how close the clitoris gets to the vaginal opening and so the chances of it coming into contact with the male organs.

In fact, mature women are more likely to orgasm than younger ones because with time they master what works for them. Each woman is built differently and the position and movements of the clitoris differ from woman to woman. 

The older a woman is the more they get familiar with what works and the more they get pleasure from sex. In one study, about 60 percent of women below the age of 24 reported orgasm in their last sexual experience. This increased to 65 percent for women aged 30 to 40 years and 70 percent for women aged 40 to 50 years.

“Ok doctor, you seem to be well versed in these matters but how do we move forward with my concern,” Rodah asked.

The solution to body image concerns is therapy that aims to help one appreciate their bodies. It is actually true that you are fearfully and wonderfully made with each part of your body carefully fitted to match your beauty. You cannot be loved by other people unless you love yourself.