What you need to know:
- Within six months of dating her, he had bought for her Gucci shoes, with money that's more than his rent, a designer handbag, three phones and had gone on five road trips
- I don't have the energy to take on this duty but heavy is the head that wears the crown of dating young women
International Award ceremonies are usually drab affairs centred around celebrities and fashion that belongs in the trash. It's on the red carpet that celebrities wear over-priced designer clothing we're supposed to pretend to admire and aspire to, which to me look like they were designed by a five-year-old on drugs. Wait, five-year-olds act like they're on drugs so they don't need any help.
The Golden Globes 2020, however, was one for the record books due to the one and only Ricky Gervais. Ricky is an English stand-up comedian, actor, director, producer, and writer who is best known for co-creating, co-writing, and acting in the British television mockumentary sitcom The Office.
At the 2020 Golden Globes, Ricky's famous opening monologue held nothing back as he roasted celebrities indiscriminately and the only thing better than his speech was the audience reactions. There were two massive jabs of repute beginning with his joke around celebrities' connections to the convicted sex offender and suspected sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein. "I know he's your friend but I don't care. You had to make your way in on your own plane, didn't ya?", in reference to Epstein's Boeing 727 which was dubbed the "Lolita Express" due to the frequency of the underage women spotted with him at Little Saint James, a private island that's part of the United States Virgin Islands.
The second memorable jab of the night was when he talked about actor Leonardo Di Caprio's preference for younger women. He had just starred in 'Once Upon a Time' and he was dating a 22-year-old actress Camila Morrone. Ricky threw in a jab, "[The Irishman] wasn't the only epic movie. Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood [is] nearly three hours long. Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere, and by the end, his date was too old for him." Leo laughed it off and I would have loved to see the camera pan to his then-girlfriend. It didn't but we can safely assume she wanted to sink into her chair and never come out again.
I won't go into the back and forth over the age-gap debate, at least not today anyway, but I want to talk about whether you can in a true sense handle these younger women who men seem so eager to go for. A conversation with a friend last week had me dying of laughter. He's a 30-year-old techie who had found himself a 22-year private university student and by his admission, 'anapelekeshwa mbio' which translates loosely to that he is having to work extremely hard to maintain her.
Within six months of dating her, he had bought for her Gucci shoes, with money that's more than his rent, a designer handbag, three phones and had gone on five road trips. That's just some of the things she's been putting him through. He's always hosting her girlfriends at his place or taking them out to some club somewhere where his cranky old creaky-boned self isn't allowed to leave until morning because who's going to drop them off at their places?
I don't have the energy to take on this duty but heavy is the head that wears the crown of dating young women. Did I mention the fact that she has the libido of a jackrabbit and he feels like she is now his evening side gig because she's always on a plug and play mode?
He's also sending her money every other week for one thing or the other- she's like a money pit-but a good-looking one who smells nice.
I'd told him a few months ago that he wasn't going to be able to handle her or in the famous words of Big Shaq- 'I don't think you have the facilities for that, Big man' but he went ahead, and now months later, he is suffering.
Why does he stay in the situation, you ask? He said that she's energetic and exciting, she keeps him young and she has fire strokes in bed. I don't think that's worth the headache but we all choose our chains, don't we?
I haven't been hit by the allure of a way younger women but if you're going to head that way be ready for the catch-up game. They have the energy you had a decade earlier, see you as the moneyed older sucker (like a distant uncle), they talk about in past tense, but who they can smash.
I remember back in college being taken out by girls in our year using money they had fleeced from older men. I pitied the men who had to put in so much work err.. money only for it to be used on campus lads.
Yet, still, older men continue to chase the younger women who probably would not have looked at them twice if they were broke age mates. If you're up for the adrenaline boosts, want to be an indefinite ATM, have late nights with her 20 girlfriends while they tell stories about drunken parties, then go for the college girl. Don't say I didn't warn you!
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