Just Brenda: My lazy friend refuses to get a job  


Personal discipline and respect for time, especially other people’s time, are admirable traits.

What you need to know:

  • Of course, it bothers you that your friend is refusing the version of adulthood you would prefer for him, but that's just it - that's the version that you prefer for him.
  • You sound like you're not living at your parents' place (I would hope not, considering that email) and that's the direction you've chosen for yourself, but truly, you can't make an almost 30-year-old man care more about his situation if he doesn't already; and you can't care more about his life and future than he does.

Dear Brenda,


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