Just Brenda: My boyfriend lacks ambition

A couple in the middle of an argument. I am not sure if he cannot find a job, or he has no ambition.

What you need to know:

  • You, too, could lose that job you are so proud of, and he could be writing to me about the same thing.
  • But you said something very important – in the beginning, you were ok with it because you were both in university.

Dear Brenda,

My boyfriend doesn’t make enough money, and while I was ok with it in the beginning, now that we are both out of university, it feels like I am leaving him behind. I am not sure if he cannot find a job, or he has no ambition. It feels like the latter. Is no ambition a good reason to leave someone?


Dear Ambitious Abby,

Yes. Ambition is reason enough to leave a man. Money, not so much – just because money is fleeting, and at different times in our lives we have different amounts of money, and it is what it is. We all need people to support us. You, too, could lose that job you are so proud of, and he could be writing to me about the same thing. But you said something very important – in the beginning, you were ok with it, because you were both in university. This is very important because you have moved to a different stage of your life, and things should change. I’m not saying anyone should be making millions immediately out of uni. I’m saying that as you move, you need someone who can move with you. Someone who wants the same things, and has the same goals – goals like financial security, wealth management, investment, parenting – things like that. The Bible says don’t be unequally yoked with someone, and that transcends the Bible as well in terms of belief – be with someone who has the same vision and goals as you, or someone you can align with. It sounds like you and your man aren’t aligning, or you’re tired of waiting for the alignment. Either way, it’s time to leave.