How can I politely teach my girlfriend some table manners?
What you need to know:
- Do you know that married people eat approximately 18,000 meals together?
- Please, please, don’t be dying slowly through each and every one of them. Alternately, never eat together again.
- Or never look at her when she’s eating. Or play loud music at mealtime so that you don’t hear the sound?
Hello Brenda,
I am dating a wonderful woman. She is kind and has a nice figure. I definitely want to spend the rest of my life with her, but she chews with her mouth open and I can’t imagine having to eat with someone who chews with their mouth open forever. What am I supposed to do without being mean?
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There is no nice way to tell someone that they have no manners, to be honest. Their feelings will be hurt regardless. So either she's in pain or you're in pain. Hers, though, will be temporary. Yours might be permanent. Explaining why you don’t want to see the whole breakfast as it is masticated is a difficult thing to do. But listen, if you are planning to marry this woman, and your biggest problem is her big mouth, then you are doing well thus far. My advice is, remember that marriage is going to be full of uncomfortable conversations as you continue to learn about each other and grow together. Think of this as practice for the future conversations you’re going to have, buckle up and lean into the difficulty and tell her. Do you know that married people eat approximately 18,000 meals together? Please, please, don’t be dying slowly through each and every one of them. Alternately, never eat together again. Or never look at her when she’s eating. Or play loud music at mealtime so that you don’t hear the sound? Or pretend she’s Korean (Koreans smack their lips loudly to show appreciation for food, it’s customary as a compliment). Or, instead of jumping through these hoops, tell her. If you want to keep her nice butt, be honest.
