Paired in campus

BY DANIEL OGETTA AND STEVE OTIENO 

As sure as the sun rises, when boys and girls join institutions of higher learning, the probability of them striking lasting friendship with college mates is quite high. Limited are the chances that those relationships will become romantic ones, and even fewer the chances that those relationships will survive beyond college.

In the spirit of Valentine’s weekend, we spoke with three couples whose love was brewed in campus. They tell us how their relationships survived the tedium of limited romantic adventure, the desire to date as many lovers as possible, financial constraints, infidelity and the fabrics that have held them intact to date.

Peter (28) and edna Ndung'u (26)

After completing his studies, Peter graduated from college, leaving behind Edna who was in her second year. The two-year gap between Peter and Edna’s ages stands as an elaborate symbol of the period when the couple’s love was severely tested.

Peter, an electrical engineer, and Edna, a penologist, met at a fresher’s party while they were studying at Moi University. Edna was a First Year student while Peter was in his third year.
Peter says that he was so deeply struck by Edna’s calm countenance that he felt convinced she would make a good girlfriend.

“She was so beautiful and charming. On that day, she wore spectacles that made her look like a smart geek. I was a book worm at that time and I really admired her looks,” Peter says.
The two started as platonic friends with common interests.

“I spent the first two months admiring Peter. We met in church often when participating in different church activities,” Edna says.

Peter could read the telltale signs of their mutual attraction based on their increasingly frequent encounters and more time spent together. Some of their friends thought they were already dating, but they were both in denial.

“Our friendship grew and we started making excuses to spend time with each other. This went on until one day my best friend put us on the spot. ‘If you are not dating, what are you doing?’ that very evening, on April 12, 2014, I formally asked her to be my girlfriend.”

Edna’s roommate, a senior student, had warned her against dating engineering students. “They have no time for serious relationships,” she told her.

“We used to attend mass every day together. I felt like I had found the perfect spiritual partner,” Edna says.

On weekends, they used to go boat riding at Kesses Dam where Peter freely and frequently reassured Edna of his love.

Edna met Peter’s family in 2016 during his graduation. She met them again in January last year, and they were married in July 2020.

The two years that followed Peter’s graduation were quite turbulent, as their relationship transitioned into a long distance one.

“Chatting via text messages wasn’t working for us. His responses were always delayed and that really annoyed me,” recalls Edna.

Six years into their relationship, Edna advises young people to marry their best friends. “Put them through the Best Friends Test. If you feel eager to tell him all about your day every evening, he is the one.”

Andrew (35) and Diane Owino (28)
When Andrew first saw Diane at Karengata SDA Church, he fell head over slapjacks with her. “But she was a little girl. I had to be patient with her,” he says.

Coincidentally, at that very meeting, Diane was struck by Andrew’s impeccable piano skills and his devout nature. Andrew liked Diane for her reserved though serious nature, and he even hinted that he would wait for her to join campus before formally asking her out.

Church became their meeting grounds for three years. Andrew was a choir trainer while Diane was a choir member. As fate would have it, Diane completed her high school studies just when Andrew was breaking up with his then girlfriend.

By the time Diane joined the University of Nairobi, Andrew was in his last semester in the same institution.

“He once told me that I was lucky because I got a husband at my first attempt at dating. I though he was so proud because we weren’t even dating. I had friend-zoned him,” Diane says.

That conversation kick started their romantic relationship. A few days later, Andrew completed his studies, but the distance was never an issue. They would meet every Saturday in church and later on have romantic lunches in cheap joints in the city centre or at Uhuru Park.

As a fresh graduate with a salary that barely met his needs, Andrew struggled to sustain the relationship. At one point, he contemplated ending his relationship and starting one with someone who could help him foot his bills. He never shared this with her girlfriend.

“Clearly, communication was, and still is, his toughest challenge, but he has really improved.

About one year before their wedding, the couple had a nasty break up, which turned out to be merely temporary. A few days after the altercation, the duo met and agreed to write down all their aspirations then compare notes later.

“We agreed that if we had the same objectives, we would both work on achieving our collective dreams. Turns out we had the same ambitions!” Diane said.

They started planning for their wedding shortly afterwards, but Diane’s parents initially resisted those plans because Diane was yet to complete her medical degree.

With a fiancé, a wedding budget of Sh900, 000 and another Sh2 million in dowry to pay, Andrew was overwhelmed. Diane successfully intervened and convinced her parents to reduce their demands.

In 2016, at the church where they first met, Edna and Diane tied the knot. The two have co-authored three books on relationships, courtship and marriage.

Ernest Kahia (30) and Diana Kamau (25)
Some coincidences are impossible to ignore in this union.

There is as five-year difference between their ages, and Earnest was a fifth year student of engineering when he first laid eyes on Diana at a friend’s house. Five days later, Diana, then a second year student, initiated a conversation and asked for his number. They got married five years after their debut meeting on February 23, 2019.

Yet Ernest remembers fondly what Diana wore when they first crossed paths.

“She had short hair which looked good on her. She was wearing an oversized sky blue T-shirt and black tights which accentuated her beauty,” he says.”

Ernest was just about to complete his studies while Diane was just starting hers. He knew that if they were to strike a relationship, then, time was of essence.

One day she was alone and lonely in her room, so she texted Ernest, "What are we?” 

“At first, he was not interested in a relationship. He was vying for an electoral post in campus and there were posters bearing his face all around the university. He was good looking and ambitious, and I later discovered that he was a born again Christian.”

Ernest says that although Diana was not born again, she had a likeable personality. However, he was afraid of asking her out because he believed that Diana was dating one of his friends. In addition, He had just been heartbroken and was not in a hurry to sign up for another romantic relationship. But things just began falling into place.

Ernest won the election and suddenly, his love life became public interest.

“By the time an engineering student gets to fifth year, he has perfected the art of time management and multi-tasking. I had so many responsibilities and so much school work, and a new girlfriend who needed my attention. But I managed,” says Ernest.
When Dee and Ernest met, she had just come from a relationship that flopped because of accusations of promiscuity.

“I wasn't a girl who committed herself in relationships, so there is a time I betrayed his trust and everything changed.” That was still in 2015.

“She, again, betrayed my trust and that almost made us part ways,” says Ernest.

It took some time for them to openly talk about their pasts, and to convince Ernest, who had vowed never again to get emotionally involved in relationships, to change his mind.

Ernest completed his studies and relocated to Nairobi. At this point, it would have been easy for Diana to replace him. However, they kept in constant communication.

“Sometimes he would even fall asleep while we were talking on the phone,” she says.

“Before I got a job, Diana sponsored most of our dates in Nairobi. She used to work during her long holidays and had some good savings,” Ernest confessed.

The Kahia’s are now parents to a seven-month-old baby girl.
“Campus love sometimes is the best love because you are both vulnerable. Most times, couples break up after campus due to changes in lifestyles and expectations. But if you remain true to each other, will be able to weather any storm,” Ernest says.