Ask HR: Please help! My interpersonal skills are wanting...

I always try to connect with others and expand my networks so that I can get better at my job, but it is not easy. Some of my colleagues seem to get along well with most workmates and I secretly admire and envy them. How can I enhance my interpersonal skills so that I can enjoy more healthy relationships?

We are social beings who naturally desire quality interactions with colleagues and friends. Naturally, we often gravitate towards people who make us feel comfortable. But as you say, there are those who do this effortlessly while others struggle. Although humans have different personalities and are gifted differently, you need to understand your limitations, and find ways of compensating.

To interact better with your colleagues, you will have to increase your confidence, compassion, empathy and listening skills, depending on what you are struggling with. Stop waiting for others to initiate conversations. Instead, gather courage and invite them to a discussion.

You could say “I am struggling in task ABC, how is it going for you? Could you help me out?” Or “I need to pick your brain on something.” If you usually speak quietly, raise your voice at the next meeting and boldly share your thoughts. When colleagues identify topics of interest in a meeting, they tend to follow up with other like-minded colleagues. That’s how friendships are formed. 

Be quick to complement others and join your colleagues during short breaks or for lunch. During these moments, participate in the conversations instead of being just a listener. Happiness happens best when we give it away, so be positive and cheerful. Watch your body language.

If you are greeting someone and wishing them a good morning, the good cheer should show on your face. If you are having a polite conversation, avoid pointing fingers, banging tables or raising your voice, as this might change the trajectory of the discussion.

Sitting with your arms folded across your chest is a sign of defensiveness and can put others off. Whenever conflict arises, try to have it resolved as quickly as possible. Lastly don’t sweat the small stuff. Be quick to forget and move on, otherwise, as one wise person said, “If hurts were hairs we would all look like bears.”

Millennial HR
www.millenialhr.com