Like every Kenyan, I really looked forward to the Presidential debate, particularly following the fireworks experienced during the Deputy Presidential debate. I knew the real debate would be after 7pm, but I learnt that my favourite candidate — not necessarily the one I will vote for — Wajackoya the Fifth, would appear in the earlier debate. I was not going to miss listening to this sage.
I ignored Kizito, who hosted us during the Deputy Presidential debates. As you know, Kizito had been pro-debates and had been saying how Gachagua would be shown dust. But after that one debate, he changed his mind, saying the debates are useless — that they do not increase or reduce a candidate’s votes.
I called him that morning to ask if he would be hosting again but he firmly told me that there would be no debate. “My candidate will not waste time debating when he can speak to the people directly,” he said. “Attending the debate would be useless. Even Uhuru did not attend in 2017 but he won.” I arrived home early that day ready to listen to Wajackoya. Saphire, Nyayo and Alfayo joined me.
When the first debate started with Wajackoya in absentia, no one took interest, with even Nyayo asking if I could switch to a Nigerian movie.
Soon, Kizito arrived at my house.
“You people have nothing useful to do?” He asked when he found us watching Mwaure debate himself. “There is no debate if we do not have the 5th in the first and second round,” he said. Nyayo was almost telling him off until he realised that Kizito was carrying two bottles of high-quality drinks: Hunters and Kenya Cane. He asked me to bring glasses, which I did.
“This is not what you usually take,” he advised Nyayo, who took the drink in one gulp. We call this One Touch.
“My friend, there is no drink that’s tougher than what Hitler’s gives us. This is water,” said Nyayo, as he gulped a second glass. Saphire also took two glasses quickly. The bottles were empty in a matter of minutes, and Kizito gave Nyayo money to go get more supplies from Hitler’s. Nyayo arrived just as the presidential debate was about to begin.
I still hoped that Raila would show up, but he did not. Only Ruto turned up.
“This is going to be boring since Ruto, as usual, will be the one conducting the interview,” said Kizito, adding that he would just watch in the first few minutes then leave.
But a few minutes into the debate, he seemed happy.
“I am liking the questions,” he said and started calling many people asking them to watch TV. “Hapa leo ni kunoma,” he would say.
I saw things differently and pitied the DP. The way he was questioned and answered questions reminded me of my life at school as a deputy HM.
Like the DP, I have had clear plans and programmes in my life, but just like in the DP’s cases, enemies of development, led by my former boss, did everything to punish me, to sabotage me. Yet I was being told to be accountable for their action and I wasn’t in charge. Allow me to enumerate a few of them.
KCPE performance – I must say that our KCPE performance in the last few years has not been great. Even though we have been amongst the best schools in the division, our mini-score has been nothing to write home about. As they prodded DP Ruto about the economy, I felt like I was the one being asked about our school’s academic performance.
To my surprise, they thought that a deputy had any power. In my case, the buck stops at Bensouda’s desk. While I can’t tell everyone what Bensouda and I discussed, I can authoritatively reveal that behind closed doors, I gave my wise counsel to the HM and told her how we could improve perfromance. I am not saying that she ignored me, I am just saying that what I suggested was not implemented.
And to those saying that I was in charge during last year’s examinations, please note that I took over when the pupils were in third term. When I become HM— and get all powers and privileges — people will be surprised at how much I will improve the school performance. I cannot say exactly how I will do it, but I will do it. Trust me.
When they started questioning the DP about some dams, I remembered our school’s case of latrines. If you remember, I called my friend Nyayo and another boy to dig the holes and Ali, my fundi, to be in charge of the construction.
Scuttle the project
Bensouda did not like it and she decided to scuttle the project. She said there was no money – but we all know that all this was done to punish me! Ironically, she hired fundis a few weeks later to set up a number of unplanned and unbudgeted for projects. A good example was refurbishing the school gate and repainting the HM’s office.
Bensouda gave her friend the tenders. Isn’t this shool capture?
Unless you are a stranger in Jerusalem, you know that as Deputy, I had no influence in the school and was never consulted on many things. Bensouda made these decisions together with her sidekick Kuya, who has no official rolel other than teaching. Mere teaching.
I told Kizito the debate had been unfair for Ruto, but he was very happy. He kept calling his friends claiming that the DP had lost the debate to himself. It was clear he had never been a Deputy. My heart goes to all deputies who have been ignored in everything that happens, but who must take responsibility for someone else’s mess. This is for you!