It’s time to review your relationship, renew it


The diary was about 15 years old, and I had written a long list of things that I wanted to do within a certain time frame.

Photo credit: Samuel Muigai | Nation Media Group

It’s hard to resist reviewing your life in January, isn’t it? So were you successful last year? Did you achieve your goals? Did you and your spouse get along well? Were you happy?

If your answers are all some sort of maybe, ask yourself what you need to do differently in 2023. Because for sure, doing the same things again won’t change anything.

Be crystal clear about your objectives, and what you need to do to achieve them. And be prepared for that to take longer than you expect, cost much more and involve all sorts of unexpected difficulties along the way. Don’t give up too easily!

You’ll also be more successful if you know yourself well. Your strengths, weaknesses, abilities and flaws. Then you can take advantage of your talents, and avoid struggling with things beyond your capabilities. It’s also important to understand the world around you, so you’re not trying to do something the world doesn’t value as much as you do.

How can you improve your marriage? You’ll be much happier if you both accept your personalities just the way they are, rather than falling into the trap of endlessly trying to change one another.

And anytime you fall out, start by asking yourself whether your partner might have got things right and maybe you should reconsider your views. Because trying to understand why your partner sees things differently from you, rather than relentlessly trying to prove that you’re the one who’s right, opens up the possibility of real improvements to your relationship.

Or what about improving your love life? Intimacy can become less enjoyable for very many reasons, like illness, anger, children or worry. But whatever the cause, the longer you let things slip, the harder it is to put everything right again. Especially because it’s such a difficult subject to talk about.

So try broadening the issue to include everything concerned with sleeping together. Especially your bedtime routine. Because couples who always go to bed at the same time, and who cuddle as they prepare to fall asleep, are much more likely to enjoy intimacy.

Or how about making some small changes that will help you to be happier? Like consciously being kinder to others in everything you do. Holding doors for people without expecting any thanks. Surprising your mum with unexpected phone calls.

Be more in the moment. Read for at least an hour every day. Spend a few minutes enjoying the sunset. Listen to the rain. Be genuinely interested in everyone you meet, because almost everything important that will ever happen to you starts with talking to someone new.

Try to understand your own emotions better. Learn what triggers them, how they affect those around you, and how you can be more in control of your moods.

Being more focused on others, kinder to everyone, and more in control of your moods will completely change you. And you’ll become a lot happier!


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