I’m unable to conceive, I’m afraid my husband may take in another woman

I’m unable to conceive, I’m afraid my husband may take in another woman. Photo | Photosearch

What you need to know:

These days we don’t talk about this issue as I end up crying making him avoid the topic.

Question: I have been married for five years. My husband and I have been having a good relationship but my main problem is that I can’t conceive. I have been trying since I got married. I have gone to many hospitals to no avail. I’m growing desperate by the day. 

These days we don’t talk about this issue as I end up crying making him avoid the topic. I don’t know what is going on in his mind. I fear my husband might take another woman to give him children. As I write this I’m sick. It is painful to be childless. My relationship may hit the rocks. What should I do?

A: You sound desperate and anxious in the situation. This is due to the emotional and psychological burden that infertility has created in your marriage. I really empathise with you. Seemingly there is a growing rift in your relationship with your husband. Note that opening the lines of communication between you and your husband is essential in keeping your relationship strong and helping each other through the difficulties infertility can cause. Additionally, constant talking with your husband will make the bond stronger and remove the feelings of insecurity you are already experiencing. That said, it is important for you and your partner to be able to face and express your feelings and emotions which can only be done through honest communication. 

Your relationship also seems to be cold due to the fact that you seem to concentrate on your inability to conceive than working on your love life. While I understand that it is not easy to just flush this issue from your mind and life, please note that maintaining the initial love that drew you together with your husband is key.  

I suggest you work on reducing the stress you have as the wallowing will not help but only put your body, mind, and relationship under duress. Health-wise, look for a doctor (specialist) who will help you both physically and emotionally.

During this time (going through testing and infertility treatments), it is natural to put your life on hold. However, it is crucial to set a timeline such that you don’t miss out on living your life. You and your partner may also explore the idea of child adoption if need be. I wish you success.