What you need to know:
- Good men know all their failings and don’t need reminding.
- Endlessly banging on about them will turn him right off.
Many marriages are doomed before they start. So before you start pushing your boyfriend for a proposal, you should ask yourself whether yours would be one of the good ones.
It probably will if you can both see each other’s point of view. And say ‘yes’ a lot. But it probably won’t if either of you is self-centred, secretive, unfaithful or unwilling to meet each other’s needs. You should also have similar views on what’s important in life, or if you don’t, you can respect each other’s opinions.
And will your boyfriend be a good husband? He will if he’s willing to work on any problems in your relationship, is nice to your family, likes spending time with you more than his friends, likes just cuddling with you, and makes you happy.
He needs to be dependable, trustworthy and honest. When he makes a promise, like meeting you somewhere, he keeps it. You don’t want someone who’s casual about his commitments.
He should be happy talking about the difficult stuff, have goals in life that you can identify with, and be comfortable with the other women in his life, like his mother, sisters, and exes. If he’s not, let him go. Especially if it’s clear his mother’s opinion means more than yours. You have to come first.
If he has children from a previous relationship, he’s looking after them, he’s involved in their lives, and there’s no indications that he spreads himself around and then moves on. And don’t marry someone who’s lazy. Or one who has awful friends — he’ll go the same way eventually.
Because what it all boils down to is that being happily married is all about choosing the right man. Do that and you’ll be happy.
But what if the good men never seem interested in you?
Like they start out by paying you lots of attention, and act like they really care about
Maybe you’re someone who turns princes into frogs.
Like you enjoy keeping men off balance. Good men don’t play games. No control over your emotions? Violent? Way too needy? Nothing more scary.
You’re his worst critic? Good men know all their failings and don’t need reminding. Endlessly banging on about them will turn him right off. Same if you’re judgemental. If he feels you’re analysing everything he says, you’ll never really be close.
You’re still seething over an ex? Women who can’t say a kind word about men lose them fast. Ditto if you’re all about yourself, you keep saying you ‘don’t need him,’ or you always expect to get your way.
Princes also lose interest if you have lots of male ‘friends.’ Just like women distrust men whose lives are full of females, men feel the same way about all those male friends.
Good men have simple needs really. Understand them, and you’ll find your prince. But if it’s only your needs that matter, then you’ll always be surrounded by frogs.