Confusion galore as Madam Bensouda resists retirement

Bensouda came to school breathing fire, announcing to everyone that she was going nowhere.

When a few months ago rumour had it that Bensouda was proceeding on terminal leave pending retirement, I went ahead to improve my leadership skills so that in case of a vacancy, I would easily fill it to avoid what Miguna Miguna and his nephew Nelson Havi call a lacuna, at the school .

On hearing this, Bensouda became so livid. She came to school breathing fire, announcing to everyone that she was going nowhere. “I know many of you want to see me gone, but I want you to know that I am going nowhere. I am still young,” she said, accusing me of engaging in premature campaigns.

“Which school have you ever seen a deputy busy campaigning to take over from a HM who is still serving?” She asked me. “My friend, sisi ndio tuko!”

To silence me, she appointed Alex the acting Deputy HM, and she has been working through him. And since I had some domestic issues to handle in Kakamega (by the way I need to give you an update on recent developments on my domestic front) I gave Alex a free hand in running the school.

Things got a little interesting when Kuya returned the other week, unaware that Alex was the one acting. That is when I decided to apply what I had learned from the book, 48 Laws of Power. I was really enjoying the fight between Alex and Kuya when, last Monday, I was called urgently by the TSC sub-county director of education.

When I arrived,the director and other officials from the Education ministry asked me about my job group, my experience, my tenure at the school, and  my leadership abilities. Can you imagine someone doubting my internationally recognised top-notch, cutting edge, transformative, state-of-the-art leadership qualities?

The long and short of it was that Bensouda was due for retirement and I was expected to replace her. “We have called you here because she is resisting, and to let you know that this may not be the smoothest handover. We are asking you not to just wait to be handed over power, but to take it,” said the director.

“We are not saying that you grab power. We are asking you to be firm and ensure a smooth transition given that Madam Skastina may not cooperate.” Bensouda’s real name is Mrs Skastina Majani.

“But how can someone who is not even in school resist?” I asked them. “I have been running this institution from the day she reported.”

“Thank you Dre, I am no disputing that, but that was a local arrangement, we now want to formalise things.”

“So I am finally going to be HM?” I eagerly asked.

“Not really, you will be the acting HM as we look for Skastina’s replacement.” That was disappointing. The officials told me to prepare for an official handover ceremony in the course of the week.

“Since Skastina is evasive, be on standby as we may dot it on any day,”

That evening, Bensouda called me.

“Do you know when I was born?” She asked me. I said no.

 “Then what makes you think you can join my enemies to send me home early? The day I joined TSC, I knew my retirement day would come. And I will retire when I attain the correct age, not when some junior TSC officials decide. Who are sub-county officials anyway? Nothing, takataka!”

I told her I had not done anything wrong.

“I am not a fool! You think I do not know that you spent the entire day at the sub-county office plotting my departure?”

She went on: “If you want to be the next HM of this school, you must work with me, and I will support you by introducing you to people who can help you. Do you know you can’t be HM in that low job group of yours? That is why I am delaying my retirement until you are ready. But I see you are being used to get rid of me. However, you will get nothing!”

 I got confused.

I would later learn from a source closer to a source intimate with the real source,  that Bensouda had received her letter of notice of retirement a few months ago. She had written back wondering why TSC wanted her to retire a few months before her due date. According to her, her retirement date is February 27, 2022, not November 12, 2021.

In her letter, she had indicated that she would not leave a day late or a day earlier. On Wednesday evening, the director of TSC called me asking me to be in school on Thursday. “Our intelligence tells us that she may be in school. Be on standby and notify us once she arrives so that we can supervise the handover.

I reported early, dressed to kill (no one), and ready to take over the reins of power. But Bensouda did not show up.

Later that evening, she sent me an SMS saying: You and your so-called directors will wait for me till Jesus comes but you won’t see me. In my own time, I will hand over the school, but not to you, Never ever! I would rather die!

I forwarded the message to the TSC director. She called. “We wanted to make it easy for Skastina but I see she wants to make it difficult. Don’t worry. The handover will be done this coming week apende asipende. Your support in ensuring the transition succeeds is crucial. Does she know that it is not a must for her to be there for a handover to be done? Be on standby Andrew.”

I am alert and on standby, ready to take over our great school this coming week. For those who thought I will forever be the deputy, mezeni wembe. And to everyone else, start sending me your congratulatory messages right away. Viva!