Carole Mandi: When enough is enough
Contentment can be practised by being grateful for and enjoying what you have.
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” Melody Beattie
When my children were younger, it was always important to share any goodies equally to avoid fights and resentment from brewing. The young ones would watch out hawk eyed to see who received the bigger share of snacks, drinks or toys. They weren’t silent about their observations either, “You’ve given him a bigger chicken!” they would let us know. Never mind that they had a full piece on their plate.
In many ways, we are still like little children. You can be happy about your car, house or job. Until you notice that your neighbour has just upgraded their car, house or gotten a promotion. Discontentment sets in pretty quickly after that. While you may not mention it, you may feel pressure to up the ante in your pursuit of more.
More money, more fame, more followers on social media. Yes, we are living firmly in the age of discontentment and sadly, the pursuit of more does not lead to greater fulfilment. If anything, it leaves us burnt out and merely existing to outdo or impress others.
Eventually all that calculating and weighing to ensure each child got the same as the other became tiring. Real life, I realised, did not work out fairly. I had to teach my children that it was ok if someone else got the bigger toy. It was best to be happy with what you had and happy for them. It was an attempt to help them practise gratitude and reduce discontent.
However, it was a lesson I too learned late. Discontent reared its ugly head all too often, making me feel that there was something missing in my life that could be fixed with something more, or something bigger or better. That blender that had worked for years now needed to be upgraded to a food processor. “It is more efficient,” I justified acquiring more appliances I did not need, and would probably not use.
Lately, I am learning that contentment can be practised by being grateful for and enjoying what you have. Yes, using that blender until it becomes unhinged.
I am learning to tune out the advertising messages that fuel my discontentment. Truth is, a non-branded item may work and look just as good as a branded one. We can define our values and what matters most, and not allow the advertising executives at Gucci or Range Rover to do it for us.
Finally, I’m learning that the meaning and purpose of life is not in what we own but who we are, who we love and the service we offer the world. If we mortal beings are condemned to pursuit, then let it include the pursuit of contentment and happiness. Or else we will get to the end of life and discover that we not only leave it all behind but also that bigger is not always better and more is not always merrier.
