How churches are meeting men's needs

“Let’s be honest, brothers,” says Peter, a 42-year-old businessman, leaning forward. “Nothing drains a man more than a wife who nags about money every single day.” Laughter erupts across the room, some men nodding knowingly. A younger man, barely 30, raises his hand. “What about growing up without a father? No one teaches you how to handle relationships or money. You just figure things out, sometimes the hard way.” The room falls silent for a moment. Many here know that reality all too well.

Then, the conversation shifts. Second wives.

“Some men have them. Some men want them. Others pretend they don’t think about it,” says an older gentleman, his voice steady. “Can we talk about this, or is this one of those untouchable church topics?”

A few men exchange glances. The usual church setting might not allow for such a discussion, but here? Here, there are no cameras, no judgment—just men talking, the way they would in a barbershop, a men’s den, or a late-night club gathering.

The pastor, seated quietly, finally speaks. “Are these conversations taking the church in a secular direction? No. They are bringing the reality of men’s struggles into a space where they can find guidance, not just empty advice or guilt trips.”

Still, some topics remain off-limits. Infidelity, divorce strategies, or justifications for reckless behaviour—those, the pastor insists, cannot be normalised under the banner of “men’s struggles.”

Yet, one thing is clear: the church is no longer a place where men suffer in silence. They are talking, healing, and learning—one bold conversation at a time. For decades, churches have excelled at creating programmes for children, youth, and women, but many have struggled to fully engage men. Yet, in today’s fast-changing world—where shifting cultural norms, economic pressures, and personal struggles weigh heavily—churches are recognising the urgent need to meet men where they are.

Gone are the days when the only expectation of men in church was to be passive attendees on Sundays. Today’s churches are fostering spaces for men to grow spiritually, connect with peers over nyama choma, navigate real-life challenges, and serve with purpose.

From mentorship programmes to fatherhood workshops and men's-only Bible studies, a movement is taking root, helping men redefine masculinity within the faith. But how is this being done? And is it working?

We spoke to pastors and leaders leading men's ministries, as well as men who have found renewed strength and purpose through these initiatives.

“For Catholics, The Catholic Men's Association (CMA) has been there for a while, catering for men’s needs in the church. Though not present in every parish; its establishment depends on parish initiatives and the interest of male members. Similarly, CMAs operate under individual dioceses and their presence varies based on local needs. A Catholic who wishes to join or start a CMA, is always free to consult the parish priest or diocesan office for guidance. I belong to the Consolata Shrine myself which started over 10 years ago. I owe much of my life to the CMA since I have learned life before and after marriage, living healthy as a man, responsibility, leading as the priest of the family and much more,” Mark Muriuki tells Lifestyle.

In a world where traditional masculinity is often challenged, many men find themselves questioning their roles as fathers, husbands, professionals, and leaders. The church is stepping in to provide clarity and guidance.

Kefa Omori leads a mentorship programme dubbed “The Voice of Growth” which features a men’s discipleship group. He says, “Many men feel lost because the world keeps changing its definition of what it means to be a man. But scripture provides a firm foundation—one that teaches servant leadership, responsibility, and integrity.”

Through weekly meetings, Voice of Growth Men Ministry helps men discuss real-life struggles—from how to be present fathers to navigating workplace pressures and having several streams of income.

Steve Kaloi, a 40-year-old engineer and a father of three, joined the group seeking more insight into balancing work and family life.

“Society tells us that a man’s worth is in his paycheck, but through these meetings, I’ve learned that my real value is in how I lead my family with love and faith,” he says.

“One of the biggest challenges men face today is loneliness. Many do not have a strong support system, and church communities are stepping in to change that by creating dedicated men’s groups, mentorship programs, and social gatherings that foster genuine connections. Through activities like Bible studies, retreats, sports, and open discussions on real-life struggles, men find a sense of brotherhood and support. These spaces provide not just companionship, but also accountability, helping men navigate challenges with faith and shared wisdom,” adds Steve.

Oliver Gaceru, a reverend of ACK St. Paul’s Karen West Parish, who also oversees the men’s ministry at the church, explains: “We encourage men to form friendships. We hike, we have coffee meetups, and sometimes we just sit and talk. It’s in these informal moments that deep issues come out.”

“The Kenya Anglican Men Association (Kama) has established a mentorship forum for young men, fostering intergenerational learning since its membership spans all age groups. This initiative provides younger men with valuable guidance from their elders,” he says.

Additionally, Kama offers men a strong sense of belonging in a society where they have often been sidelined or neglected. By creating dedicated forums within the church and the community, it has become a game-changer—challenging the norm where women’s chamas dominate, and providing a much-needed space for men to connect and support one another,” says Mr Gaceru.

Melody Wanjala, a gospel singer and a student at The Africa International University who is also a part of the Anglican men association views it as a win for the man. Melody speaks with a sense of conviction, his voice carrying the weight of experience and newfound spiritual discipline.

“Being part of the Anglican men association has truly shaped my journey in faith,” he says, a thoughtful pause punctuating his words. “This fellowship brings men together, not just to bond but to grow spiritually, to hold each other accountable.”

Kama members meet every Sunday without fail—a non-negotiable routine that has instilled discipline in Melody’s walk with Christ. “Every week, each of us prepares a scripture to share. That means I have to memorise a verse, reflect on it, and be ready to speak on it. Over time, this has deepened my consistency in Christ.”

Beyond scripture, the fellowship tackles real-life issues. “We discuss relationships and marriage openly,” he says. “Those who have walked the journey successfully share insights, which is incredibly helpful, especially for those of us preparing for marriage.”

But Kama isn’t just about spiritual growth—it’s about action. The group is actively involved in supporting vulnerable individuals, mobilising funds for students in need. “Faith without works is dead, right?” Melody quips with a smile.

For him, the experience has been a blessing. “Being part of a brotherhood where you can serve God, learn, and grow without distractions—it’s something I truly cherish.”

Many men—both young and old—seek mentorship, yet few find it. Recognising this gap, churches are pairing older, wiser men with younger ones for guidance.

Patrick Njoroge, 42, found himself at his lowest after a difficult divorce, struggling with loneliness and a sense of loss. Seeking solace, he joined the church’s men’s hiking group, a decision that transformed his healing journey.

“I was at my lowest, but being part of a brotherhood changed everything,” he reflects. The camaraderie, shared faith, and open conversations helped him regain his confidence and sense of purpose. “It reminded me that I am not alone. There were men who listened, encouraged, and walked with me—literally and figuratively.”

Through mountain climbing, he found not just companionship but renewed strength in his faith. In our church, men don’t just meet for Sunday services. They also participate in outdoor activities, sports and even camping trips to create deeper bonds,” says Njoroge.

Joram Kirubi, 20, a systems technician at Presbyterian Church of East Africa (PCEA) Ngarariga and a member of their men’s fellowship as well as a member of Gideon’s International, has found these platforms invaluable. For him, church is not just about Sunday services—it’s about a brotherhood of faith that extends into everyday life.

“Being part of these fellowships is more than just attending meetings—it’s about living out faith through action,” he says.

Gideon’s International provides men with a structured way to engage with their faith, beyond personal devotion.

“Members gather to pray, study scripture, and share the gospel actively by distributing Bibles in schools, hospitals, and prisons. The experience has strengthened my faith, deepened my leadership skills, and given me a strong support system,” he reveals.

Beyond spiritual growth, the church has also played a crucial role in shaping his professional journey.

“Through Gideon’s, I met a mentor who significantly influenced my career in the tech world. This connection recently took me to Mombasa for a business project, where I gained hands-on experience and valuable skills.”

“He emphasised that mastering these skills will unlock tremendous opportunities for me,” Kirubi shares. “I’m determined to succeed and make the most of this chance.”

His story reflects the growing trend: men are finding purpose in the church not just through worship, but through mentorship, career guidance, and strong accountability networks. In a world where many men struggle alone, ministries like Gideons and PCEA Men’s Fellowship provide them with a sense of belonging, equipping them to be better leaders in their families, workplaces, and communities.

John Kimani, 29, lost his father at a young age and happens to have met a father figure in a men’s program who has walked him through the journey.

“I grew up without male guidance, so I struggled with what it meant to be a man. My mentor, Mr Wanyama, has taught me so much—not just about faith but also about handling finances, marriage, and personal growth.”

For Mr Wanyama, mentorship is more than just advice. “I made my own share of mistakes when I was younger. If I can help another man avoid the same pitfalls, I know I’ve fulfilled my purpose.”

Many men crave purpose beyond their daily jobs. Churches are offering opportunities for service—whether through community outreach, mentorship, or missions. Church has also become more than a place of worship—it’s a space where men now find guidance, accountability and brotherhood. Eric Nzioki is one of them. He is a member of “The Men of Valor Project, The Warriors.”

“It’s a tribe of men that gathers every Thursday for Bible study, prayer, and honest conversations about faith, purpose, and the challenges of manhood,” Eric says. “We believe that being a man is a privilege, but it also comes with unique difficulties—so we support each other in becoming the best versions of ourselves.”

For Eric, this fellowship has been life-changing.

“Learning from the scars and experiences of men who have gone before me has not only shortened my learning curve, but also accelerated my growth as a speaker, author, and WHY leader,” he explains. “The lessons on integrity, discipline, accountability, and resilience have shaped my character and grounded my faith.”

But the impact goes beyond personal growth. Seeing how other men navigate faith, family, and leadership has given Eric a clearer sense of direction.

“More than anything, witnessing how these men balance faith, family, and purpose has transformed my outlook on leadership and responsibility,” he says. “It has equipped me to pursue my calling with clarity, courage, and conviction.”

For Eric, “The Men of Valor Project” is more than a group—it’s a lifeline. Through it, he has found not only wisdom and mentorship, but also a community that challenges him to grow into the man he is called to be.

Life Church International Ruaka too runs a dedicated men’s ministry known as “The Daniels”, a space designed to nurture men spiritually, emotionally, and socially. According to the lead pastor Alex Mwangi, who also founded the men ministry, it initially started as a way to integrate men into church activities. However, over time, the vision expanded to mold men after the biblical Daniel—spiritually strong, influential, and impactful in their families, workplaces, and leadership roles.

Mwangi’s personal struggles also shaped the ministry’s direction. “I faced a serious personal challenge that affected my mental well-being. That experience made me prioritise mental health awareness in my sermons and men’s interactions,” he shared. He intentionally avoids messages that bash men, choosing instead to create a safe environment for growth and healing.

Recognising that some issues require a more personal approach, the church introduced “The Conversation”, a roundtable forum tackling topics from LGBTQ issues in the church, suicidal thoughts, and career growth. “There are issues that cannot be fully addressed from the pulpit, so we created a space where men can open up,” he explained. The ministry also organises men’s breakfasts, couples' dinners, and an annual Men’s Week every June, where men lead church programmes, pray, and discuss their well-being.

Beyond spiritual growth, the church actively empowers men financially. Pastor Mwangi launched the Financial Convention, an annual event equipping believers with marketplace skills. “When men do well financially, the entire community benefits,” he said.

Samuel Mbugua, once a struggling entrepreneur, attended one of the sessions. “I thought faith was separate from business, but I learned that God cares about my finances too. I got practical strategies that helped me save my business.”

In addition, marriage seminars provide men with guidance on being better husbands.

Paul Maundu, a 50-year-old man who has been married for 25 years, shares, “I used to think being a husband just meant providing financially. But through our men’s marriage programme, I’ve learned that love, emotional support, and faith are just as important.”

For those battling addiction, recovery programmes within churches are offering a lifeline.

Joseph, 38, overcame alcoholism through a church-based rehabilitation programme. “I found a support system that didn’t judge me but helped me heal.” He says.

The modern church is no longer just a place for men to passively attend services. It has become a sanctuary where they can redefine masculinity, find brotherhood, receive mentorship, and tackle life’s toughest challenges.

For many, the church is no longer just a Sunday ritual—it’s a lifeline. A place where they can grow, heal, and lead with purpose.

And as more men step up, support one another, and find their faith, the ripple effect is undeniable—stronger families, healthier communities, and a new generation of men who know their worth, both in faith and in life.

[email protected]