Single Mum Tales: Damsel in distress and a perfect gentleman
What you need to know:
- I decided to cut out any unnecessary expenses as that was the only way we could survive.
- Any kind of meat was a luxury, especially chicken which was Liam's favourite.
- We settled for grains.
Natasha manages to pay off her debt but gives notice to move out. Trying to keep up with her responsibilities is weighing her down emotionally and suicidal thoughts have been crossing her mind. Would it be better if she eliminated her son then herself?
Trouble surely comes with all its relatives! I wondered how I could deal with a car that suddenly would not start. The fuel gauge was just below the half-way mark so I quickly ruled that out. Despite my hazard lights being on, the driver behind me hooted annoyingly and it was only after I alighted that he realised the car had stalled. Luckily the guy in a van on the next lane saw my frustrations and pulled over to offer help as I organise how to get the car towed. I turned on my feminine charm and expressed my immeasurable gratitude at his kind gesture and went on and on about how rare it was to find such a gentleman. I could not imagine him leaving me by the roadside as I honestly did not have anyone to call for help. I knew I had to play my cards right and the damsel in distress outfit suited me well. I quickly explained my home wasn't too far and if he knew someone who could tow me... or could he perhaps tow me kindly? That worked perfectly!
My new house
I heaved a sigh of relief when I finally got to the house. My knight in shining armour had offered to send his mechanic to my house the following day so that was one load off my back. It wasn't lost on me, that the month was ending in three days and I was not going to risk being thrown out of the house. That night I decided to transfer enough money to cover for my debt from the contingency fund, to the landlord's bank account. What was left was barely enough to sustain us for a month. I had stopped minding what anyone thought or said about me and all I wanted was to get a small nice affordable house for Liam and I. I made up my mind to start looking for another house.
I will kill my son and myself, that way I would not leave him suffering.
The first thing I would do the following morning was to officially communicate to my landlord that I would move out in a month's time. The one-month notice would mean my two months’ deposit would be secure and would be refunded. That money is what I would use to pay for the rent and deposit for my new house.
Suicidal thoughts
I had felt like giving up so many times before and the only reason I kept moving was Liam. He was my sole responsibility and I could not bear to see him suffer. Suicidal thoughts sometimes would flood my mind...
“I will kill my son and myself, that way I would not leave him suffering” ... I would tell myself. But the will to live and keep pushing and the hope for a better day kept me moving. His little hands around my neck when he hugged me, gave me new strength. I had to keep fighting! My friends had gradually fallen through the cracks and I realised I was all alone. I was tempted to call Tony, Liam's dad for financial assistance but the last time we had talked he had lied he would call back when he came back from a business trip, out of town and he never did. He really was something else. While I was working, he was sugar and sweet and all things nice but all that changed after I lost my job. And if the rumour-mill was anything to go by, he had moved in with an older woman and was in charge of her petrol stations.
I decided to cut out any unnecessary expenses as that was the only way we could survive. Any kind of meat was a luxury, especially chicken which was Liam's favourite. We settled for grains. The only reason I could not release the house-help was because I needed her to watch over Liam as I went in search of any opportunity, anything that would help put food on the table, anything, I thought as my phone rang.