Our melodramatic palace manager, Makena, did not resume work on Sunday as she had promised.
If you remember, that was the day she was whisked out by Omosh through the back door of Happy Valley when Queen and her brigade of World Cup ‘widows’ stormed the premises.
When I bought myself back into Queen’s wifely fold, of course at the costly price of hanging my name on the hustler’s fund list, Makena remained in Queen’s most wanted persons list.
To increase my redeemable bonga points in Queen’s heart, I resumed our Sunday afternoon family outing, this time to the all serene high-end Kichakani Resort at the shores of Lake Olbolosat. Well, I urgently needed to break away from the monotony of work and noise and take my Queen out to a romantic atmosphere where we could patch up our love holes.
“How is our supermarket doing?” I asked.
“So it is now our supermarket! Does replacing a negligible fraction of what you had stolen from me make you a shareholder?” Queen asked.
That caught me off side; I had not scored a goal by resurrecting the supermarket. Queen had forgiven me but had not forgotten the Happy Valley scandal.
“Now that you have raised the issue, I am employing another house servant. You can remain with Makena at that evil Valley!” Queen said.
“That my dear is your prerogative. You have the power to hire and fire house servants at will,” I said.
“I know that is what you have always wanted. Your Mrembo has now got a co-slay queen!” Queen sarcastically said.
Before I could think of an appropriate reply, Makena appeared.
“Habari yenu?” Makena meekly greeted.
“Mzuri,” I answered.
Queen neither answered nor looked at her. I feared that Queen’s loud and noisy breathing could be heard above the sound of the music in the resort. I was staring at what threatened to turn into a very ugly scene.
Luckily, the future leaders intervened when they happily came to welcome Makena, whom they had truly missed. The boys flooded her with questions about Meru.
As I have told you in past missives, the future leaders are the singular reason that Queen retains Makena at the Palace, the latter’s mountain of sins notwithstanding.
Unlike in the past, the boys realised that their aunt did not have guavas. “Wapi zile guavas?” the last born asked.
“Hakuna kitu Meru, ni jaa tupu,” Makena answered.
“Sikuweza kurudi Sunday. Meru kuna shida kubwa sana ya jaa,” Makena said.
Queen did not respond. I too kept quiet because I did not want to fall into her traps.
“Watu wanakula matunda yamstuni.”
When Makena realised that Queen was not going to respond, she decided to give her story anyway. “I left Meru on Friday. I have relied on good Samaritans who gave me lifts in their cars,” Makena continued.
“Shsssssss! Such a sad story!” Queen said. “Do you, by any chance, have a twin sister at that evil valley?”
“Noooo, I am an only sister,” Makena answered. “Then I can tell you that your long-lost sister was drinking at that evil valley with your Omosh,” Queen said.
At that juncture, Makena broke into whispering sobs.
“We were once your age. Stop taking us for fools. The money you stole from my supermarket is now over, that is why you have come back with some ogre stories!” Queen shouted.
Makena was now crying loudly but I could not be of any help. Luckily, nature intervened when ushers brought our order, a steaming kuku kienyenji with ugali for me and chips for the rest.
The war of words was first suspended to give room for serving justice to the rare delicacy. We demolished the whole helping without any sign that we were at half time of the little war. After the demolition, the boys went back to the merry-go round. Then, the war resumed.
“By the way, have you come back to work or for your salary?” Queen asked after the ushers cleared our table.
“I have come to work,” Makena said.
“These children have saved you, not your ogre stories. For Omosh, I shall see his wife,” Queen said.
Now, if my Queen is a lioness, Omosh’s wife is a wounded lioness. I could see Makena shaking.
And that is how our C.P.A. (comptroller of palace affairs) got back to the Palace. With the threat of contacting Omosh’s wife, Queen will be able to contain the hitherto rebellious and libellous girl. This is Queen’s golden chance to reclaim her wifely territorial boundaries. All the best my dear Queen.
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