MR SURVIVOR: Makena has gone back to her usual Palace capture


For the past two weeks, Makena has been determining what is to be eaten at the Palace. She also determines when and at what frequency each week. If this is not Palace capture, then tell me what else it is.

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Old habits die hard, so the saying goes. It is now clear that when Makena ‘grew thin’ in the Palace and got back her job, it was a tactical retreat before she emerged to climb back to Palace capture. She had been waiting for the most appropriate time to reassert herself as the C.P.A. (comptroller of Palace affairs.)

You will remember how I assigned Makena two important roles in my new bottoms-up economic model which I am using to get me out of financial Sahara…

One of the roles was to ensure that the right ratio of water, greens and meat was applied so that the little quantity of meat I buy is enough for everyone. The other one was to give the Concorde a wash every morning so that I could do away with commercial car wash. She has carried out the two with military precision.

As you all know, Makena looks for the slightest opportunity to tell the whole world that Queen’s womanly and wifely qualities are inadequate. Of course, she is very wrong, Queen’s use of marital Siberia to punish me notwithstanding.

With her new roles, Makena did not wait for me to finish telling her to jump before she asked how high she was to jump. If there is an overzealous servant, then that is Makena, of course with calculated ulterior motives. The ratio of water to meat was supposed to be four is to one but she used close to six is to one. To make up for the mess, she added a concoction of spices, making the resultant stew look and taste like muratina, our traditional beer, thank you very much.

Now, my plan was to buy meat twice a week but with Makena’s creativity, two more days were added. The meat stew, nay, soup stew, is being served for three straight meals, giving the impression that meat is taken throughout the week in the Palace. And believe you me; the meals have become very nice.

“This meat is soo sweet. One cannot compare it with the other that looked like snakes,” said the last born. He was referring to the tripe I had bought in the first week of January, leading to a strike in the Palace.]

“Yes, it is better this soup than that snake’s meat,” said the first born.

“Auntie said soup is good for the strength of bones,” said the second born.

Queen did not comment but her shouting silence said a lot. I know it is just a matter of time.

For the past two weeks, Makena has been determining what is to be eaten at the Palace. She also determines when and at what frequency each week. If this is not Palace capture, then tell me what else it is. To achieve this, she has bought the boys to her side. And because Queen gives in to all the boys’ demands, it means Makena is ruling the Palace.

When it came to washing the Concorde, she made it a ritual with full dance and music accompanying the ceremony. The entire neighbourhood had to know that Concorde was getting a wash from none other than the one and only Palace manager, alias, C.P.A. I am very sure that if I do not do something soon, my enemies will invite Sakaja of Nyandarua to close down the Palace because of noise pollution.

Amka Kumekucha by Maroon Commandos is her favourite song. She infuses her own words in the song so that she can on one hand praise herself for waking up early while on the other hand ‘criticise’ Queen for a myriad of real and imagined shortcomings. Luckily, by this time, Queen is usually busy in her Slopes Supermarket at the gate of the Palace and is yet to decipher the coded disparagements. Once again, it is just a matter of time.    

Although Concorde has never been as clean as it has become, that comes at a price. You see, Makena wakes up at her usual time and goes straight to washing the Car. And because of the ritual that she has made the task become, she takes a whole hour. The result is that breakfast is now taken very late. Let me politely say that it is taken when Makena decides. This is a serious case of Palace capture.

“I know things are now better. You should be sharing with me when things become elephant for you here. The boys listen to me more than they listen to their mother. They have liked my meat so much. And the car looks as good as new,” Makena told me.

“Thank you very much,” I told her. That was all I could manage to say.

Now, this is the kind of overzealousness that characterises Makena’s Palace capture. And although she is doing a good job of cooling down the food strike at the Palace, her daring attitude is likely to attract the attention of Queen. I fear for both of us.

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