Just Brenda: I feel smothered by my in-laws

A sad woman. They have added me in every conceivable Zoom call. His sisters call me incessantly (even though we are not even married yet) and his mother can’t sleep without talking to me. PHOTO| FILE| NATION MEDIA GROUP

What you need to know:

  • This is the time to call in your Facebook investigator friends and that aunty who knows absolutely everything about anyone who is anyone - and if she doesn't, she can find them.
  • Find out the history of these people - maybe they're just a loving family (but start putting your phone in Do Not Disturb mode, surely).

Dear Brenda,

Is there such a thing as too much love? I often feel smothered by the love shown to me by my man’s relatives. They have added me in every conceivable Zoom call. His sisters call me incessantly (even though we are not even married yet) and his mother can’t sleep without talking to me. And I have not even mentioned the impromptu visits they give me at my house, forcing me to find them good food to eat and a place to sleep because I live in a small servants’ quarter. They are starting to make me think there might be something wrong with this man, because the love and enthusiasm is just too much.


Dear Overwhelmed Olive, 

Yes there is such a thing. It is called love bombing. Although I'm used to seeing it from men who are trying to hide something, but this one sounds like a family trying to hide something. This is the time to call in your Facebook investigator friends and that aunty who knows absolutely everything about anyone who is anyone - and if she doesn't, she can find them. Find out the history of these people - maybe they're just a loving family (but start putting your phone in Do Not Disturb mode, surely). Or maybe they're a scam. Or maybe you're the problem here - did someone teach you that you don't deserve to be treated well? 

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