I did, I do, I’m done: Divorce party craze is here

Wedding couple

Marriage has always been a solemn union celebrated by friends and family. Now its end is also being tossed to. What happened?

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What you need to know:

  • Such parties, a common occurrence in the West, are slowly finding acceptance in Kenya.
  • Online platforms in Kenya have been seeing a divorce cake advertisement once in a while.

Clad in branded T-shirts and jumpers, the group of friends descended on the sandy beaches of Diani to celebrate.

Food was in plenty. The décor was top-notch. Laughter and banter rented the air. Drinks flowed.

What were they celebrating? 

Divorce. 

Their friend had recently parted ways with her husband and they had to drink to that. Kericho resident Sandra Belyon was in attendance.

“I have attended two for my friends,” she told the Saturday Nation. “The party is usually about a recently divorced person being feted by her close-knit friends. We did the first one in Diani.”

During such events, she said, there are lots of messages of encouragement for the divorced friend as the group toasts to a new chapter in the friend’s life.

“Of course the divorcee gives a speech. Sometimes it gets so heavy but often it’s a good outlet for her to speak her heart out,” Sandra explained.

Such parties, a common occurrence in the West, are slowly finding acceptance in Kenya.

That is, perhaps, why this week’s announcement by Bill and Melinda Gates that they had ended their 27 years of marriage left some social media users asking, rather jokingly, whether either of the billionaires would be throwing a party.

Author and journalist Omwa Ombara attended one such party in 2019. In a video she posted about the event, she said the dress code was black (same as funerals) and that a number of activities took place.

“I’m just coming from a divorce party. We celebrated. We had speeches. We had a divorce cake. This was all very interesting,” she said.

Speaking of divorce cakes, online platforms in Kenya have been seeing a divorce cake advertisement once in a while.

Divorce cakes

One Purity Kingi thus advertised in a popular Facebook platform on April 23: “Baby shower cakes, birthday cakes, wedding cakes and even divorce cakes. I deliver free.”

Sampling some of the divorce cakes ever made reveals a trend of rebellious art where the ex is blatantly mocked. One famous piece ridicules a man’s “limp” tools. Graphic art showing splattered blood or a broken heart or a person kicking their partner off a cliff are also common features in divorce cakes.

The Saturday Nation understands that some bakeries within Nairobi occasionally receive orders for divorce cakes. Krumble Fresh Cakes is one such:

“Divorce cakes are not common, but we have received some orders before,” said an attendant at the facility.

Statistics indicate that more Kenyans are getting divorced. In 2019 alone, some 1,108 people filed petitions to dissolve their unions in court, an increase from the previous years. There were 909 such cases in the period between January and December, 2017.

With such a trend, divorce parties are set to be commonplace. It is no longer strange to find friends coming together to raise funds towards throwing a divorce party for their own. Groups are created on platforms like WhatsApp and Telegram and are run like a logistics forum for any other event.

Residents of other African countries like South Africa and Nigeria are also warming up to divorce parties.

Last year, a South African woman named Lungi Shozi caused a stir on social media when she shared pictures celebrating her divorce. In the photos, the woman was wearing a sash reading “Divorced Diva”. She also bought herself a designer cake for the celebration with the theme “I do, I did, I am done. Divorced at last”.

And in Nigeria, actress Ikea Bello last month threw a lavish divorce party. Its icing also had the words: “I do, I did, I am done”.

Another common message on a divorce cake reads: “Wife goes on.”