Women can move mountains, but...

I read a joke that compared a group of men and women organising a nyama choma get together. In the men’s group, someone posts a question, “Hey guys, when are we getting together for mbuzi choma?”

A second man responds with a date, time, and venue. The poster of the questions suggests that one of the men buys the meat, and they will split the cost and the rest of the men show up at the host’s place with drinks. All the 15 men agree, and the discussion is concluded and closed within three minutes.

 Now, the women’s group takes a more interesting turn. One woman poses the same question. A second woman responds by reminding the rest that she no longer indulges in red meat. Another woman responds by offering to host, then quickly changes her mind because she just realised that the date coincides with her daughter’s school play. Another woman asks why they are considering hosting the group in someone’s house, “Isn’t that too much work for one person?”

“No, in a house is better, so we don’t spend too much, and we also will have more time.” There is a debate about this and finally someone asks what the discussion is about as she has just logged on. Another responds by telling her that they are hosting a non-red meat get together at a restaurant to avoid overworking woman five. Another woman counters this by reminding the rest that there cannot be a party without the mbuzi choma. Three more agree with her.

Menu choices

An hour of debates and discussion about venues and menu choices and finally it is agreed that everyone should be accommodated. Someone posted a cute image of a puppy that is missing. They discuss the breeds of dogs, which are better for family, debate about which pet is better for those with allergies, between a cat and dog. Three hours later, someone chips in with a response to a red meat discussion that was closed two hours ago.

I am in different business forums, some of them exclusive to women. Every so often, I am tempted to exit the women-only business forums. Every day, there will be a woman posting a completely unrelated topic, even when the group description clearly explains that this is a business forum and posts should focus only on business matters.

I am a woman, but even I cannot explain why my fellow women cannot stop sharing all manner of topics and personal issues in these forums. In a recent post on a business networking forum, a woman shared her gynaecological issues in detail and finally asked for advice. Someone responded. Four hundred replies swallowed up this response, all sharing about their own issues and insights better than a gynaecologist could ever do.

Marriage journey

In yet another entrepreneurial forum for women only, a woman started her post by first apologising that the message was unrelated. She proceeded to post a super long write-up about her marriage journey from dating to her current woes, eight years on.

That is why we need mixed groups, mixed schools and no single gender forums or institutions. Nature meant that balance for a reason. I do not even understand why we have girls-only and boys-only schools, let alone women-only business forums.

The business world needs people to think like men but act like women, as suggested by Steve Harvey in his book of a similar title. Men can focus on the one box and block out all else, hence getting the work done, albeit without the details. Women on the other hand, are micro detailed and can be bogged down by the nitty grittiness, but once completed, a project will be spectacular.

Karimi is a wife who believes in marriage. [email protected]