What do husbands need from wives?
Quality attention is something that husbands need. For example, being the first person to notice and compliment them about their choice of clothing long before he steps out into the world. They might keep one hairstyle for life but when they have had the cut, they know that we know it.
What you need to know:
- To be appreciated. They are trying to win at life, at parenting, at being honourable sons and sons-in-law, and above all, at marriage.
- It keeps their fire alive when his woman acknowledges and praises his abilities in the different spheres of his life.
- Appreciation is not just about praising the man.
To be appreciated. They are trying to win at life, at parenting, at being honourable sons and sons-in-law, and above all, at marriage.
It keeps their fire alive when his woman acknowledges and praises his abilities in the different spheres of his life. Appreciation is not just about praising the man.
They told me that there are a dozen ways to demonstrate appreciation. A husband asked me to start this discussion by posing a question to us, the wives if we wished to understand better what they needed from us.
“It will trigger some introspection from the women because wives are not perfect, and husbands should not always be the ones to take the blame when a marriage hits a rock.”If your husband was to describe you, what three or four words would he choose, and why?
Take five minutes, write them down and think about it. Mkali is the first word that comes to mind because Hubby often uses it when reporting me to our couple mentor. I am now reflecting on it to understand the why.
Some husbands who wrote to me requested anonymity. “I do not want my wife to know it is me, otherwise she will turn as cold as fish next to me in bed.”
One explained the reasons. We do not want that either, especially not in this month of passion and romance, so I will give them pseudonyms.
KK said, “A husband expects his wife to be his number one cheerleader.” He continued, “A cheerleader for not just the accomplishments, but also for the effort and skills.” For a man, this acknowledgement is appreciated both in private and public spheres.
Let it be sincere, please. They can see through those exaggerated ego-massaging tactics that we seem to have inherited from the genes of Delilah.
Leave his ego alone, and focus on commending the true skills of the man. When we are sincere in our cheerleading our husbands, feel confident and inspired to share more about their projects, activities, and concerns with us more than with anyone else.
Quality attention
Quality attention is something that husbands need.
For example, being the first person to notice and compliment them about their choice of clothing long before he steps out into the world. They might keep one hairstyle for life but when they have had the cut, they know that we know it.
It goes a long way when we voice our compliments and means more than when others out there compliment them. What might seem minuscule, like complimenting the way he keeps his beard might just be the secret to getting his eros side of love ten notches up.
Appreciation is demonstrated when we give them peace and provide companionship. “Her warmth, nurturing and beauty are what makes the home a place to connect and be accepted,” RM said.
A husband needs the home as a place to be and not a jail to escape from, and unwarranted drama – please we have PMS- is off-putting and disturbing. Asking about his day, and sharing about yours keeps the connection.
Constant berating and demands make them avoid our company and either seek the bar, the office or some other elements that have no goodwill for our relationship with him. A woman who works on her emotional stability makes a great companion. Eze added, “A wife who defends a husband against hostile in-laws is a gem. She is a true friend.”
A sincere thank you and sorry at the right time works magic. “Yet, the default position for many a wife is to be the ‘righteous one’ and to consider the husband as always in the wrong.” TM lamented.
Another way to demonstrate appreciation is when we stand with them through plenty and scarcity. “A wife who remains respectful, faithful and a friend even when the business fails or when we go broke,” PD said. Josiah says a husband needs a wife’s prayers, a thoughtful woman and one with a positive attitude towards life.
Men are innately visual. To demonstrate our appreciation of this, our husbands need us to keep this in mind as we dress indoors and outdoors.
They have turned black and blue reminding us to stop with the shabby dressing while indoors, yet we look like queens while stepping out. On the same note, they really do like their wife being a queen out there and a bold, adventurous wizard in the boudoir. This had to feature in, yes?
Karimi is a wife who believes in marriage. [email protected]
