Attractive young man

An attractive young man. 

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Traits of an irresistible man 

What you need to know:

  • We love a kind-hearted man, yet not a pushover.
  • We admire a man that will kneel to the level of a child and will also stand up to a bully.

Our six-year-old nudged me while we were at the shopping mall the other day. 

“Mum,” he said, “Look at that man. He has big muscles!”

Our little boy has been doing press-ups ever since his elder sister told him that girls are fascinated with muscled men. 

“Do you think his muscles are bigger than dad’s?”

I laughed.

Children can get you in trouble with their trick questions. What kind of conversation would we have in the evening with the dad if our son told him how mum thought the man in the mall had bigger muscles than his dad?

Feeling smart for my quick thinking, I decided to educate him.

“His muscles are alright, but can I tell you what girls really, really like in a boy?”

His eyes lit up.

Incidentally, it is not just the little boys who think that girls like all things big in a man – big car, wallet, muscles, titles and you know what – but men still have no idea what really, truly makes them attractive to a woman.

In the same breath, a young man wrote to me asking me what to do to attract a particular young lady he has consistently lacked the nerves to approach. 

“I am afraid some man with loads of money will grab her before I can get my life sorted,” he said, explaining that he had a promising enterprise but it was not yet making enough money to buy him a decent car. A nice car, he believes, would get him the girl much faster.

My son and those young men in this dilemma, if you can lend me your ears, let me demystify the myths and let you in on the authentic stuff that so charms the girls. 

It’s about the subtle stuff

The huge muscles and taut calves can be overwhelming for a woman but do not quit the gym though, because we like you toned and healthy.

Striving for Mr Muscle Man will generally get other men envying you. It will however not get the daughters of Eve swooning over you. The secret of attraction and keeping the flame alight is in the subtle stuff.

The scent of a man, for example, is generally underrated. Forget what the guys told you about using strong, overwhelming colognes. Just shower twice daily, thoroughly clean your teeth and mouth and go slow on the colognes. 

The hardworking man or smart worker is way more attractive than a lazy one sitting by waiting for his rich folks to keel over so he can inherit their hard-earned fortune. He might have the girls lining up, but they are in for a quick kill and nothing permanent. If you cannot house, feed and invest in yourself, you are most definitely not going to attract a girl worth her salt. 

The one that mans up, keeps his word, owns up, and is honourable, that one is a gem, more precious than diamonds. And so is the one that makes us throw our head back and laugh. Forget about the clowns. That is child’s play, literally. Humour is deep and is cultivated from broad reading. There is no shortcut to that, sorry. Children giggle at clownish jokes but women love a sense of humour in a man.

We find men who pursue their passion and niche in the world and chase it as if that is all that matters - because, it is all that matters - absolutely irresistible. A woman instinctively knows how life can be torturous sharing it with a man who does not know his purpose. We are insanely attracted to the one who does. 

We love a kind-hearted man, yet not a pushover. We admire a man that will kneel to the level of a child and will also stand up to a bully.

And yes, a man that knows stuff is alluring. Be an expert at something, anything, even soil for heaven’s sake! It will make you a very fascinating man. Love your food, please. A man that nibbles at his food is a put-off. It communicates a lack of enthusiasm in other important matters if you know what I mean. 

Karimi is a wife who believes in marriage. [email protected]