My take on the politics of the day

Vote sign

There is not a single social group, digital or physical that has not been invaded by political discussions.

Photo credit: Shutterstock

What you need to know:

  • When you ask people not to engage in political talks, someone takes it as a cue to send a forward about their candidate.
  • I am audacious enough to imagine that if I were the head of state I would focus on only three manifesto items and transform our nation.

No, I am not writing to give you the low down on your candidate or to sanitise my preferred one. I am here to be audacious. You see, there is not a single social group, digital or physical – heck, even the family get together - that has not been invaded by political discussions, specifically, about the merits and demerits of two prominent presidential candidates.

If there is a third and fourth candidate, I am yet to hear their name and their dirt. It is tiring, yet, like that unavoidable stench from every corner of the city that has a notice plastered on a tree, reading, usikojoe hapa, people (read men) will, out of defiance, or maybe their brain interprets this warning as a subtle suggestion, go ahead and turn the roots of that tree yellow with uric acid.

When you ask people not to engage in political talks, someone takes it as a cue to send a forward about their candidate. Politics is in vogue, so I might as well indulge you.

I am audacious enough to imagine that if I were the head of state – I have no political ambitions, so please sit down, and hear my wine imbued thoughts – I would focus on only three manifesto items and transform our nation.

If I were head of state, I would prioritize security so much so that my daughter could start her young adult life in a small, cute house in deep, leafy Gachie and not have to worry about being robbed at gunpoint or violated. It would mean taking the guys in cobalt blue for refresher training that has nothing to do with 4am cross country runs interspersed with obscenities from their instructors, but more to do with training based on watching such shows as Criminal Minds, The mentalist as resource materials for their investigative security training.

As head of state, I would also slash the elective post’s salaries by sixty percent and allocate this to the men in cobalt blue. As much as we are going hoarse shouting the name of our member of the county assembly (MCA) or that of the member of parliament (MP), when you find yourself blacked out cold from an accident, your MCA or MP will be nowhere to be seen, but our men and women in blue will be there conducting impromptu harambees to rush you to a hospital. 

Expensive ventures

True story for another day. If I were head of state, security would be so important that more investment would be channelled to ensure that entrepreneurs can invest in Dadaab and Moyale and tourists would take long drives and camp in the wild without fearing for their lives. Teachers and doctors and security officers would gladly accept posting in Dadaab as an exotic posting and not take it as a punishment.

If I were head of state, I would get the education sector to clean up their act so well so that our children from our public schools in every corner of our nation would demonstrate competency at a global level.

Archaic and sexist schools’ rules about girl’s hair styles would be replaced with such rules as every learner must submit their homework via an online platform. It means that every Kenyan child would have access to a computer, including giving parents long term education loans through a government program to procure such items as computers for their school going children.

In a digital world, we are miserably failing our children when they complete high school with nil knowledge and zilch engagement with a basic modern gadget like the computer or internet. Yes, it means that teacher training colleges would overhaul their archaic curriculum - I am a trained teacher, I know - to include compulsory technology literacy, or I am not the president!

If I were the head of state, health – treatment and preventive – would take precedence over such expensive ventures as bloated allowances for benchmarking trips. Training for doctors and other medical professions would be greatly subsidised, almost free, and our hospitals would be well equipped. 

Medical care would be so well managed and minimally charged that I, as a head of state and my citizens would experience quality health care in any corner of the country. No one would ever have to fund raise for medical care.

My people have a saying, “Whoever marries my mother becomes my father.” I hope that you too will only choose whoever demonstrates how to deliver what matters most to you.

Karimi is a wife who believes in marriage. [email protected]

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