Importance of etiquette in romance

I was involved in a recruitment exercise, which included shortlisting potential candidates for several job roles in an organisation. While perusing the many applications and CV’s is a tedious process, it also means that one must be meticulous in identifying the right fit from the tens of applications.

This means scanning each application, and CV like a scientist does a blood sample with their microscope. No microorganism gets away from the eagle-eyed scientists.

Try ignorance

What saddened me is how many qualified candidates we identified but had to dismiss because of careless mistakes. You might think that these are human errors, but to a recruiter, they shout lazy candidates, slobs who are not keen on details. Do you think Earth is hard? Try ignorance and her associated relatives like no interest in reading. One candidate submitted not just their CV but a ton of documents, even though this was explicitly and politely forbidden.

“Doesn’t read and can’t follow simple instructions.”

We moved the CV and the attachments to the digital bin. Another candidate that had at first made it to the shortlist had given an inactive email and did not pick or return our call. “Careless, unprofessional.” Another one’s mobile number had one digit missing, so we could not call him. He replied to our email for an interview invitation weeks after the process was concluded! If you are on the lookout for a job, why would you not commit to checking our email at least once a day?

Sexist attitude

Many others lost the employment opportunity, even with the right qualifications but lacked business etiquette. One man called a day after his interview to ask whether those wanawake would call him back after the two weeks.

He was promptly struck out from the shortlist for his sexist attitude. Attitude can make or break you. Now you know why a lot of people are qualified but unemployed.

This is the case for job-hunting as well as dating and maintaining the marriage relationship. Some people have all the potential but are disqualified even before they can state their case. Careless mistakes in the dating world will cost you a potential spouse.

Take the example of a man who has identified a woman of his dreams. But he lets careless; avoidable mistakes cost him the dream mate. A woman notices the small details, such as whether he keeps his word or is he the type who overpromises but underdelivers?

Does he call her the correct name or, just like the job-hunting candidates, does he refer to her like the previous date? Some candidates blast their applications en mass without bothering to change the salutation to address the proper organisation or job title.

For the role of accountant, we received an application for a Human Resource Officer! While we were organisation X, they wrote, dear organisation Y; minute details, but they show you the candidate’s character long before meeting them.

The likely the culprit

We are so quick to claim that there are no jobs, but guess what? Organisations are crying that there are too many vacant jobs because they cannot find a candidate fit enough. Some women claim that there are no good men anymore, and those available are already married.

 They then hook up with the wrong man (a married one) and wonder why there are weddings every day, but they are never the bride. Some men squander their earnings for short term thrills, then wonder why no woman wants to bear his name or babies. Just like the job applicants who are vetted from that first CV post, a potential date is just as well scrutinised from the oft under looked factors.

Check yourself for those claiming that no good men or women are left suitable for you as a spouse. You are likely the culprit. Might you be displaying a severe lack of relationship etiquette?

Go back to the basics, such as a simple thank you, courteous gestures like opening a door, or letting the other person enter the lift before you, splitting bills and so forth. How do you present yourself? Do you show up for a date but spend your time on the phone? Do you mistrust a date just because you had a bad experience from a previous one?

Karimi is a wife who believes in marriage. [email protected]