I am not ashamed of my age; neither should you
The purpose of age-shaming is to make a man feel he is a failure
What you need to know:
- The purpose of age-shaming is to make a man feel he is a failure.
- It’s a low blow – aimed at a man’s self-esteem – that’s supposed to KO him out of the game of life.
- We are not the same. Some may achieve their goals earlier. Others may be late bloomers.
Age-shaming isn’t a new phenomenon. And it cuts across both sexes. I’ve been a victim, too.
I received these barbs a couple of decades ago from some young cats in Jericho Estate, the ‘hood where I was born and brought up.
“When I am your age,” these kids would swear; “I won’t be living in the ‘hood. What are y’all old cats still doing in the ‘hood?”
The purpose of age-shaming is to make a man feel he is a failure. It’s a low blow – aimed at a man’s self-esteem – that’s supposed to KO him out of the game of life.
It’s supposed to make a man believe he’s run out of time and opportunities. It’s all mind games.
That was then. I felt it, man. But now? I am wiser. When I look at the man I am becoming, I love myself the more. I love every crow’s feet, laugh line and grey hair. I love me some Josaya. I know God is orchestrating these changes to show I am working in progression, not retrogression.
That’s why I am one proud man. And, whoever you are who’s being shamed because of your age, I want you to be proud, too. King, some kids are trying to dishonour you? Rock that age. It’s a badge of honour. Wear it with pride.
I am proud of my age because I have made it this far. (Cue in Dr Sarah K’s track, “I Made It”). I am not where I want to be, but I am still putting in the work.
Not the same
We are not the same. Some may achieve their goals earlier. Others may be late bloomers. And others may, after lying in the soil for a long while, shoot like that bamboo that grows by 35 inches per day. We all have different maturity dates.
Here’s what I have learnt to say when I see others’ prospering: “That’s theirs.” This statement always puts me at peace.
I am proud of my age because I have lost count of the number of peers who are dead. I know that being alive, I have tons of opportunities to turn things around; even without having achieved the milestones society places on people to achieve at a certain age.
When the slough of despond rears its ugly head, I count the number of age mates I’m outliving. They are in the scores, man. And their families would give the whole world to have just one more minute with them.
Yet here I am complaining about my years. That reality check always snaps me back to life.
I am proud of my age because I have lived an all-around clean life. I know of peers who are so messed up, that it will take all the detergents and bleach in the world to make them clean.
It has not been easy, and that’s why it is a good thing. When you overcome temptations, you grow stronger and your inner man glows.
I am proud of my age because, though I don’t have the riches to show for it, I have something else no money will ever buy; a massive wealth of experience.
Maybe, just maybe, if God gave me wealth when I was younger, I would have abused it. I am a better vessel to handle the enormous weight that God proffers on those predestined and called according to His purpose.
I am proud of my age because I have a sound mind. I know peers who have lost their minds. At times, I meet some of these peers in the streets.
When I see them, it’s like God is sending me a live reminder to stop complaining and start thanking Him for my millions of blessings. At such times, this lightbulb always goes on: “There, but for God’s grace, goes Josaya.”
King, in these capricious times when oodles of spokes are being hurled at the wheels of men, these age-shaming weapons shouldn’t stall you, but spur you.
