When it’s time to let go
For five weeks, Lissie fought ferociously but in the end, she accepted that it was time to say goodbye.
I never met Elizabeth Nyambane, simply Lissie, but I ended up connecting with her. I have always had a deep curiosity of how people in the intensive care unit (ICU) felt when they were completely under. Most know they lost time, but they don’t seem bothered by it.
It was different with Lissie, an amazing young woman whose experience we lived through her sister, Dr Marci Nyanchama.
When Lissie called, Marci knew it was a red alert. She bundled Lissie out of the door and headed straight to the emergency room. Lissie was fighting for two lives. Handing them over to the medical team was just the beginning of a really long walk.
Lissie deteriorated rapidly. The baby wasn’t yet at term but he had to come out to give mum a fighting chance. The little champ gracefully entered the world and proceeded to settle in with little help.
Go to the ICU
While the baby gave everyone a reason to smile, Lissie’s boat was headed the opposite direction and needed to go to the ICU. Marci balked! Recent ICU histories did not paint a pretty picture. Chances of going to the ventilator and coming back were next to none. Marci was not prepared to sign across the dotted line.
See, Marci had only Lissie left in this world. In the past two years, the sisters had said goodbye to their father and then their brother in quick succession. Just when they thought the girls in the family would rise above their loss and rebuild, their mum left them.
In line with her personal brand, Lissie turned her deepest pain into a source of strength, not just for herself, but to many who avidly followed her on social media. She oozed hope and encouragement on her blog “WachaNikuambie”, changing lives, one soul at a time.
Lissie’s friends describe her as an unstoppable machine. Nothing could put her down. She would mourn, then dust herself up, freshen her lipstick and get right back at the top. She loved dearly and she idolised her son, whom she called “The Champ”.
Out of options
There is nothing scarier than knowing you are completely out of options. But we all have to do what we have to do, and so Lissie’s basic life functions were taken over by machines and Marci could only pray.
The one thing that kept Marci going was her brand new nephew. Marci crossed the line from being a dedicated aunt to a brand new mum fast. Amidst the madness going on around her, she actually managed to see the humour in how she was thrust into the role.
It had been 13 years since Marci had nursed a new-born. She had never mixed a bottle of formula as she exclusively breastfed both her babies. She may be adept at fashion brands, but infant feeding bottle brands and dozens of diapers in the market bamboozled her. When the baby wailed in the night from colic, it was a stark reminder to Marci that, if for nothing else, this adorable little soul was the reason why her sister was coming back from the dreaded machines.
Powerful woman
They say your soulmate knows what you need even when you have no way of communicating it. Marci knew just what to say, what music to play, what memories to focus on, and repeated affirmations to remind Lissie what a powerful woman she was.
Just when we thought things were looking up, Lissie caught a bug in the ICU; its scientific name, Elizabethkingia meningoseptica. Mother Nature couldn’t be more darkly humorous; Lissie was stuck with a bug that shared her name!
This week, we lay Lissie to rest. For five weeks, Lissie fought ferociously but in the end, she accepted that it was time to say goodbye. She will be straightening her tiara and picking up her new role in the next world with just as much gusto.
Dr Bosire is a gynaecologist/obstetrician
