Listen more, talk less to help those with mental health issues

Recently, mental health issues have been brought to the fore and we have become more aware of them, especially depression.

Parents, teachers, activists and health professionals have come together to raise awareness on mental health issues and have even rallied those affected to seek help.

There have also been calls to people to be more empathetic towards those going through mental distress and to support them.

This is a great step from a culture where suicide, stress and depression were viewed as a way of seeking attention.

In Kenya, it is estimated that one in 10 people suffers from a common mental disorder, with depression and anxiety taking the lead.

As we look for ways to deal with mental health issues, it is important to consider the basics that all of us - not just health professionals - can use to detect mental health issues. One important component is communication.

It is said that many relationships fail because of poor communication or lack of it.

In our daily lives, we are faced with constant disagreements with colleagues, loved ones and even strangers. Many of these disputes are brought about by lack of communication or miscommunication.

About 93 per cent of communication occurs through non-verbal behaviour and tone of voice while only seven per cent is through words.

In addition, the most important thing in communication is hearing what is not said. Many people going through mental distress communicate their disorders non-verbally. The only problem is that those around them rarely pick up these cues which end up becoming full-blown health crises, sometimes leading to suicide.

It might be because we are so pre-occupied with life that we rarely pick up the unsaid, but also because we are more focused on what is said than what is unsaid.

Those brave enough to seek help are given medical attention. While health professionals are trained to listen and to empathise, we all need to develop better listening skills and be able to hear the unsaid.

Fear of being judged

We need to get to a level of being keen to any inconsistencies in communication. For example, am I saying all is well when my body language or my tone says otherwise? 

When engaged in active listening, there is no judgment, and you are simply immersed in what the other person is saying. You offer emotional support, you listen, and you ask questions to ensure you have understood and to clarify where the spoken does not match the non-verbal. 

The tone of voice can also make a great impact when speaking to someone going through mental health disorders. Ones tone can escalate a situation or it can help one open up more on what they are going through.

There is also the fear of being judged, appearing as an attention seeker and a culture and society that is yet to fully accept that depression is a health concern.

Therefore, when in the presence of someone going through depression, be quick to listen and slow to answer or offer a solution.