The best dad award goes to...

cancer treatmentcolon cancer, cancer diagnosis

When it was time for Stephanie to go for specialised cancer treatment abroad, her father prayed incessantly with his wife, that their daughter may beat this monster

Photo credit: SHUTTERSTOCK

What you need to know:

  • What started as a simple gynaecological surgery ended up unmasking an underlying colon cancer that was most unexpected! 
  • Stephanie is the healthiest person I know.
  • She has never been overweight, she exercised, ate right, never touched alcohol or tobacco in her entire existence and there was no family history of cancer in her immediate extended family. 


 

When Stephanie walked into my office, I thought she looked stunning! She should have been on a runway; if only we had one for expectant mothers! She may have been 34 weeks pregnant but not even the cute bulge could mask her regal bearing. She was referred to me by a colleague who is the only ‘brother’ she’s ever known. 

We started the pregnancy journey with her a little late but it blossomed into an intense path that has taught me a lot about family and resilience in the face of ill health. What a rollercoaster! 

This far her journey had been smooth but Stephanie felt that the last few days hadn’t quite been OK. She was right, she was beginning to develop complications in pregnancy that urgently needed to be addressed. Treatment and bed rest commenced, coupled with weekly visits to ascertain mother and baby were doing good. 

One evening, Stephanie calmly walked into the office for her weekly check and ended up in the hospital for an emergency admission! Things had taken a sudden turn and she needed to have an emergency caesarian section. By the time I was emerging from the operating room in the wee hours of the morning, Stephanie’s parents and sisters were all at the waiting bay, in the biting early morning cold, waiting for news on how she was doing. 

Pulled through

They were overjoyed by meeting the adorable new addition to the family but they were still apprehensive about Stephanie’s outcome. This was my first contact with the entire Ng’ang’a clan of five, a warm and extremely close-knit family. I had no idea how much better I was going to get to know them. Stephanie and the baby pulled through uneventfully and were soon discharged home. 

Barely a year later, the youngest of the Ng’ang’a daughters was in my care. Therese had started her motherhood journey and as usual, it was a full family affair. Being the most spirited of the three, and the least experienced in motherhood, she truly kept us on our toes. Her reactions to the wonder of pregnancy were truly hilarious, leaving us in stitches. 

It was easy to tell she is the apple of her daddy’s eye. He was deeply dedicated to her well-being. One morning she called in a panic because she could not feel the baby moving. Dad literally drove on the wrong side of the road through the maddening Nairobi traffic to get her to the clinic. Thank God for false alarms, baby turned out just fine. 

On the day the baby came, she was at home doing an online interview for a plum job. She noted she had quietly broken her waters and the colour didn’t look right. Again, dad, the ever-present hero, saved the day. 

A few months down the line, Stephanie came to see me about a medical issue we had put off for a while. She was ready for surgery after stalling for months. She was scheduled to check in to the hospital early in the morning for surgery at 8am. When I walked into the admission area, the first people I ran into were dad and mum, the ever-present pair in their daughters’ lives. They had left home before sunrise to be with their daughter. My heart warmed up. 

What started as a simple gynaecological surgery ended up unmasking an underlying colon cancer that was most unexpected! Stephanie is the healthiest person I know. She has never been overweight, she exercised, ate right, never touched alcohol or tobacco in her entire existence and there was no family history of cancer in her immediate extended family. She had no business getting any cancer whatsoever. The family conference to deliver the full news and chart a way forward was excruciating. 

The family was shaken but the determination to beat this was palpable. The calmest person in the room was Stephanie, going through the options of treatment with clinical precision devoid of emotion. She is one tough cookie. The sisters and the close friends in the room were all being brave, present without being overwhelming. Her mum was broken. She headed off to the hospital chapel to pray, her source of comfort. 

And then there was Stephanie’s dad, Mr Ben Ng’ang’a. A man I have always known to be of few words, calmly taking charge, radiating a quiet undercurrent of great strength, love and dedication to his family. I have never seen him so shaken. He felt helpless and helplessness wasn’t something he knew what to do with. The look on his face was haunted. Someone had punched him in the gut. 

A father of girls, he has set the bar extremely high on how girls and women should be treated. He dots on his wife and adores his daughters. He is his grandchildren’s favourite person. I do not envy the men in his daughter’s lives, they truly must prove themselves worthy! 

Despite the floor falling out from under him, he quickly dusted himself up and did what I’ve always known him to do. He had Stephanie move back home, drove her to the multiple specialist appointments, accompanied her to the gruelling tests, sat with her long into the night as they all came to terms with the new reality and remained the most dependable shoulder to lean on. 

When it was time for Stephanie to go for specialised treatment abroad, he stayed behind holding fort while she travelled with her sister Antoinette. He held his grandson when he asked for mum and made him feel safe. He prayed incessantly with his wife, that their daughter may beat this monster. 

And beat it she did, the only thing he ever asked for! His daughter was back home having successfully completed treatment. It remains a long journey for Stephanie but the worst is past. Her family, led by the head, have remained her tower of strength. 

Late last year, I ran into the formidable father again, steady as ever, standing beside the second daughter Antoinette. One more time, his daughter was going under the knife in my care, he was by her side, unwavering! In my books, Mr Ben Ng’ang’a has earned the father of the decade award.

Dr Bosire is an obstetrician/gynaecologist