We run marathons in the name of women but they still give birth by the roadside

Breaking News: The Beyond Zero Marathon does nothing for mothers.

Ok, not. Let me correct that statement because it is so clearly wrong.

The Beyond Zero Marathon does one thing for one particular mother, which is, provide useful PR when people ask what her office is for and how it is contributing to Kenya.
Ok, that statement might be wrong as well. The Beyond Zero Marathon, also does something for mothers who want to feel like they’re doing something for other mothers, without actually checking the statistics of how many marathons have been run and where all the money is going. But they run anyway.

Third time’s the lucky definition, I think. Because even after all that running, there are about a handful of respected mothers in your nation who benefit from these mythical undersupplied clinics spread across Kenya – and the one who gave birth outside Pumwani Hospital is not one of them.

I say mythical because I have never seen or heard of one functioning in real time – much like the testing for Covid-19 and the falling curve, these clinics remain something to read about in fantasy novels. But don’t take my word for it, of course, I’m heavily biased towards only what I see in my circles and environs. Surely there must be someone who got the first round of drugs when the hype was still heavy in the air, right? Surely this isn’t all for nothing? Surely all the money didn’t just…disappear?

You know what, in all honesty, we can’t blame this on the First Lady. Her blame lies in continuing to perpetuate the fallacy, not in its actual creation. As most problems in Kenya are, this one too is systemic. Our systems are business minded – oh, I misspoke again – our systems are thievery and capitalism minded (same thing), and so, the bare humanity that is required to let a woman who is very clearly giving birth into a hospital to receive medical care that she so urgently needs – for free, if our government is to be believed – is deeply, sadly, grossly lacking.

No one at Pumwani cared that this woman was giving birth outside on the roadside, until the cameras were turned on her. And shame on every individual who thought that was a good idea, who thought that it is okay to turn her away, for whatever reason. Whoever gave the guards that misguided authority should be tarred and feathered. This inclines me to believe that this has happened before, and when there were no cameras, it was allowed to continue. And despite what you read in the papers about respecting a mother last week, no one really cares about the mothers who are not incredibly rich and can’t fund your electoral campaign – not even Esther Passaris, as dramatic as she may be about it. That too is for the cameras. No one cares about mothers, or maternal healthcare – certainly not the women politicians who went, carrying nine basins for one woman and pads, for a photo opportunity, and certainly not the marathon that claims to help people like her; and not the politicians who make these laws knowing fully well that no one will bother to implement them.

I’ve misspoken again. The only person who cares for your mother is you. Don’t let these loud-mouthed headlines tell you any different. Once again, Kenyans, we’re on our own.