This holy month, let’s fast and pray for our country

We may not afford a graphics team to put our faces alongside our goodwill messages, but we join our Muslim brothers and sisters in marking the Holy month of Ramadhan. All Kenyans need to fast and pray for this country, which we dearly love but whose leaders keep treating us like Covid-19.

We are praying for our President to have the courage to call corrupt government officials by name, and for divine protection so that those who will be named don’t look at him with bad eyes.

Ever since the President revealed that there are people who chew Sh2 billion from our strongroom every day, we pray that the State House teller machine will finally call our token number. We even had to go for a dental checkup, just in case we are asked to open our mouths during the defence forces recruitment exercise and get knocked out because of lack of full dental formula.

But, if our prayers grow tired legs before reaching the President like those that have gone before them, we will understand, as it isn’t easy getting an audience with a President struggling to prevent padlocks from slipping away from his gingerly hands while shielding the country from Covid blows.

Big Four Agenda

If apartment caretakers with a lifetime experience in locking doors are still struggling with multitasking, we can only imagine how tough it is for someone who only sees apartments on the Big Four Agenda booklet.

If the prayers don’t get to the President in time to free God’s people from starvation, we hope our legislators have a little more airtime to pass on our message, now that they belong to a select category of Kenyans whose monthly pay hasn’t been slashed, even though most of them have been working from home and saving on fare.  

We also have not forgotten the Kenya Revenue Authority in our prayers in this Holy Month. Our previous prayers might have fallen on dry rock, but we are ready to fast for the taxman to free Kenyans locked out of the revenue base by Covid.

If that refuses to work, we will have been left with no choice but to petition the Ministry of Education to make agriculture a compulsory subject for those going to Tax School. This is the only way to make KRA understand what happens to someone who milks a dead cow.

We also offer our thanksgiving to the President for giving us a Petroleum Minister who preaches water and doesn’t drink oil. May that Holy Spirit who advised him this week not to tamper with fuel prices continue camping at his office and siphon ink from any pen that intends to revise the prices upwards.

We are ready to open a Paybill number for that Spirit not to leave the office looking for food, as it might get stuck outside past curfew hours and get clobbered by the police.

But if the minister decides to reshuffle his advisers and throw our friend, we pray that no one give him pressure to increase oil prices. We wouldn’t want it to break any Olympic record before the Kenyan team goes to Tokyo, as this might expose our game plan early and ruin our medal chances when the right time comes.

Overall, we pray for Kenyans to continue having faith in the undying promise of a better tomorrow. We are hopeful that our Faith can still move mountains, now that she already emerged top of the KCPE 2020 class.

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